The Moral Implications of Wearing High Heels
by IssyEmm
Summary: It's easy to use someone then push them away when things get difficult. It's hard to love someone when the repercussions are so extreme they hurt. But when you're on that path, only fate will decide if you take the easy way out. Mattex.
1. The First Phone Call

_Warning: Story will be a bit depressing at times. Alex's husband in this is not based on her real husband in any way, shape or form, and this is purely for the drama of the story. Matt Smith/Alex Kingston, love 'em. _

She had known for months now that her marriage was breaking down, like bricks being pulled out of a wall until the foundations are gone and the whole house just collapses. Arguments had been spreading through their relationship like a wildfire for weeks, and there had been a very large storm brewing and it had just been the one tiny thing that she had slipped up on which had given him the perfect excuse to completely blow his top.

He promised that he would love her, cherish her, be there for her during good and bad times, and he would always forgive her. She should've learnt from the first time around that no one ever kept those sorts of promises, no matter how truthful you believed that person to be. She had never been vain enough to believe that their love would last forever, but she had kind of hoped that maybe it would've lasted longer than it had, if not only for her but for her daughter.

But it just felt so right that it had happened, in the most wrong and sick way possible. Not in the way that it had, but she knew that she didn't love him anymore. It had been a while since she had felt any kind of sentimental or emotional attraction towards her husband and it wasn't just that they had been married for a decade and everyone was just simmering down to a stop, but just that they had been so distant with one another. It wasn't her fault though, her schedule had been demanding her to fly to L.A and then back again, and so when they decided to all come to England and rent an apartment for the year to try it out, she had thought she could try and save her marriage. Even if she didn't really want to.

And so her second marriage had come to a spectacularly painful ending, and that was why she was slumped on her almost-new black leather sofa, pillow in lap being pulverized and squeezed by her shaking right fist, the other clenching onto a large glass of wine that had not yet been sipped at. Anyone looking at her would've described her expression as vacant and empty, but she was in too much surprise to even warrant changing her look.

The apartment was empty, apart from her of course. The television was on, but the sound was just like white noise to her and the picture was just fuzzy from her tears which were blurring her vision. None were fallen, none had yet dribbled and trickled down her cheeks, but she was having a difficult job restraining them for much longer.

Her flat had been absent of human voices, save those emanating from the telly, for nearly twenty minutes, or so she could tell. He had taken her daughter with him, and she remembered just screaming after him when he started storming down the corridor, dragging Salome with him, begging him to stop and come back. When he had finally disappeared from her sight, having ignored her desperate sodden cries, she had slammed the door shut in despair, stormed to the kitchen, poured herself a glass of red and then sat on the sofa.

Her evening dress was dark cobalt blue, and the edges were encrusted with small Swarovski crystals. It had cost her a fair amount, but it fitted her so well she couldn't prevent herself from purchasing it. And it was true; she did look quite stunning in it. It fitted tightly around her bodice, but the bottom half spread out around her legs, making it easier for her to pull her knees up to her chin and embrace them solemnly. Her magnificent locks of blonde curly hair were pinned back in a, now, messy bun, and several strands of her vivacious hair were hanging, ravaged, by the sides of her face.

She needed someone to talk to. She couldn't sit here all night like a desperate housewife and just wait for him to come back. But who was she supposed to call? All of her friends lived in America and there was no one here in London who she knew apart from the cast of Doctor Who – and all of them lived miles away. Well, apart from Matt, he lived around ten minutes away. But he wouldn't want to know her; he was probably busy tonight anyway.

She sat for about ten more minutes, before deciding that she had to do something. She gradually pulled herself off the couch and walked towards the chest of drawers in the corner of her dark living room. Outside, the sky was deep indigo blue, like a spilt pot of ink seeping through a single piece of parchment, and seeing as all the lights in her apartment had been switched off, there was a dark shadow casting over her. She riffled through many pages of paper in the top right drawer until she found the phone book. Flicking through pages of numbers and addresses and relatives she needed to phone and thank for her birthday gifts, she finally came to the "S" section. To call or not to call?

'Okay,' she muttered to herself, breathing in and out calmly before picking up the telephone and pressing each number, her uncertainty washing away with every button. But when the dial tone began to ring, just two bleeps over and over and over again, nervousness began to settle into the pit of her stomach and she was about to hang up before he picked up. He always did that – caught her just before she fell, like when filming The Big Bang and she had tripped over a rough paving slab in Amy's garden and he had run to grab her. She smiled fondly at the memory.

'Hello, this is Matt speaking.' Her heart jumped in her chest at his voice, how he sounded so casual and relaxed in a total contrast to her stammering persona. She was silent for a few moments, before she shook herself awake and internally scolded herself for being so weak. 'Hey Matt, its Alex,' was all she managed before her voice ran out. She thought she could hear him smiling down the phone, but she dismissed this and waited for his reply.

His voice immediately brightened and he sounded so much livelier when he replied, 'Alex, hi, how are you?' She didn't quite know what to say to that. What could she say; Oh hey Matt, I'm ringing to say my husband has just lashed out at me, stormed out of our apartment with my daughter and left me in a sad, sombre state of depression and I need someone to talk to? Before she could finish this thought and say something else, she accidentally choked out a small sob and the few tears that had been collaborating in her eyes fell down her face and travelled and splashed against the floor.

She hadn't intended to do that. She was trying to be strong, if only to preserve some of the little dignity she had been left with. But people cry not because they are weak, but because they've been too strong for too long. Now all that was to follow was evidently going to be questions. And he didn't disappoint. 'Alex, are you alright? What's wrong?' he asked worriedly, his voice flooded with concern and curiosity. And it was this uneasiness and his anxiety for her that made her really, really lose it. Her fingers trembled as she clutched the phone close to her ear, trying not to let it fall from her grip, and she quietly dropped into the seat next to her phone and tried to keep cool. 'Alex, tell me what's wrong. I'm here, you can trust me.'

'Matt, I-I don't know what to do,' she whispered before her breath hitched and caught in the back of her throat and she let out another cry, before the tears she had worked so hard to bottle up just leapt out and streamed down her cheeks like rain falling against a car windowpane. She brought her hand to her mouth and tried to bite down on her fist to stop herself but she couldn't do it. She worried he was going to hang up on her, but he was still there, murmuring small comforts and encouragements down the phone until she managed to capture her sadness.

'Alex,' he began tentatively, wondering if the sudden silence was good or bad, 'Is there anything I can do?' Her immediate response was to say no, of course not, but she couldn't bring herself to say it. She didn't want to be alone tonight. 'Matt, are you free now or later?' she stammered consciously, nervous of the outcome of her enquiry. To her extreme luck and relief he quickly replied, 'No, I'm completely free tonight.' She took another deep breath in and then sniffed back the remaining tears still wet underneath her eyes.

'Matt, is it okay if I come round for a bit?' she asked timidly. Before she could withdraw her offer, realizing that it was completely inappropriate thing to ask of him, he almost yelled his answer of 'Yeah sure, do you want me to come and pick you up?' down the phone. In that moment, Alex couldn't describe how grateful she was towards her co-star. She had always known Matt was considerate and kind, she had worked with him on many episodes for the past two years and he had been nothing but lovely to her, but she had never thought he would be so good to her.

'No, it's okay. I can get a taxi or something. I'll be there in ten minutes?' she suggested and he agreed instantly to this, and added, 'Whatever's wrong Alex, you know you can talk to me about it. I'm always here for you.' She mumbled out her embarrassed thank yous and hung up the phone. Well whatever happened now, she thought, at least she was in safe hands.

She didn't want to change her clothes, and she couldn't be bothered to take off all of her make-up which had evidently deformed her face when her tears had wiped off her mascara and left it to dry in streaks on her cheeks. But tears weren't the only things which had softened her imposing beauty. Looking briefly in a mirror before she left the apartment, she was horrified to see a harsh bruise covering all of her left eye, the black and grey and blood red diminishing the bright blues of her eyes. Next to her eyebrow, where the back of his knuckles had so roughly struck her, was a large but quite shallow cut which was oozing a thin trail of blood, but little enough that she could gently wipe it away and brush it on her dress so it was unnoticeable.

She had never thought it would happen like this, she never thought that her life would come to this. But then, it always happened to those who had everything going right; she had a great career, a beautiful daughter, brilliant friends, so of course her life was bound for trouble. But she wasn't going to stand in front of the mirror and feel sorry for herself, that wouldn't help anyone. Brushing one of the many stray curls behind her ear, she picked up her keys and a jacket and left the apartment, wondering what would become of her after this evening.


	2. It's Okay to Cry

The night air was so much chillier than during the daytime. The sky, now almost pitch black, like the colour of molasses, was dotted with many a star, shining singularly. The moon is not full, nor is it a crescent, and yet it still has that incredible and enchanting effect that feels almost hypnotizing if you gaze up at it for too long. She called a taxi over and quickly clambered in, not wanting to be vulnerable to attack from the cold.

The journey lasted a millennium, or that's what it felt like anyhow. The driver was exactly the type she wanted tonight: quiet, asking no questions, and just taking her exactly where she wanted, or rather, where she needed to go. The radio was on in the background, just faintly, and it was crackling slightly from the back reception in the middle of a still bustling city, even though the time was gone half past eight in the evening. The song was one that she vaguely recognized; Salome had put it on her iPod along with the rest of the Glee soundtrack.

I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown.

Tonight, for one of the first times, she was letting someone else save her. She normally didn't let anyone in, she didn't let anyone see who she really was and how she was feeling, but she honestly didn't know how she would possibly hide it from him. And he was an inquisitive guy, and she knew that when he said she could tell him, that basically meant you're going to tell me. But he would be a gentleman about it.

The taxi jerked to a halt outside a tall block of flats just outside central London. She dutifully paid the taxi and stepped out once more into the numbing cold, wrapping her navy military coat even tighter around her shivering form. The taxi sped off as soon as her high heels graced the pavement and she watched it drive away, her only means of escape travelling off without a conscious concern.

She tried to breathe deeply as she slowly trawled towards the front door of the block of apartments, but it was difficult and it hurt, like someone was stuffing cotton wool down her throat, slowly throttling her into an early grave. She coughed loudly, trying to rid herself of the feeling, but just felt that lump in the back of her throat, an early warning sign that she might well break down right in front of him.

She took the stairs to his flat on the twelfth floor, preferring to have time to prepare herself than to just get it over with. She didn't know what she was so frightened about really; here was a friend, ready to listen and all too willing to help her out, and yet she was terrified of him actually seeing her. She tried to convince herself it was because she didn't want him to see her so damaged and broken, but deep down she knew it was because she was in a vulnerable state and she needed him. And not just anyone, she needed him specifically. She needed Matt to pull her out of this, and it scared her because she didn't have an honest clue why.

Her high heels were making a very irritating tapping noise against the ground, but the noise soon feel silent and she found herself standing on his doorstep. She didn't know what to do. Her head was beginning to ache and hurt from earlier, and she grimaced weakly, brushing her gentle fingers against the huge swelling that was now her left eye, and a tear slipped from her right. She hastened to knock, but with sincerity, on his front door and it was not long before the wooden frame was relieved of its occupant, and his form was revealed.

In the first few seconds, she didn't have a clue what she was doing, but he smiled gently, and her heart immediately calmed down. He invited her in, and she followed after him, closing the door behind her and stepping into his humble abode. She slipped out of her heels, feeling that it was probably appropriate, and he took her jacket and put it in the cupboard.

His flat was, to be fair, rather large, but homely decorated, with pictures and posters up on the wall, and she blushed when she caught sight of an almost life-size River Song poster on one of the living room walls. Staring at herself on his wall – it was probably the weirdest thing about being an actress. She followed him into the little kitchen space that was merged with the rest of the flat (apart from the two bedrooms, one master and one spare) and he offered her a drink which she politely declined. Once all the formalities had ended, she sat down on one of the little stools which sat around the island in the middle of his kitchen and he sat on the other. Both were at a loss for words, and he looked at her properly for the first time that night.

Again, as in her own apartment, he had neglected to turn on many of the lights, but he saw that, even in the dark, some of her face looked a little different to the rest, and he pulled her up off her chair and held her and walked with her until they reached the light on above the cooker. She followed him begrudgingly, without much of a choice she hastened to add, but when her face was put under the light of the cooker, however dim, she feared what his reaction might be.

'Oh Alex, what happened to you?' he whispered soothingly, brushing the hair she had deliberately placed in front of the bruise aside to see it properly. He watched her as her face contorted into a terribly beautiful, yet heart-breaking expression and her eyes welled with tears and then her face simply crumpled and she fell into battered sobs.

He knew it had been coming, he had seen the reflection of her sadness in her eyes as soon as he had opened the front door, let alone the phone call they had both had to endure previously. But when she had been sobbing down the phone to him, he hadn't expected it to be something quite as bad as this. He loved Alex, maybe not quite in that way, and she was very important to him, and the fact that someone had hurt her (he could tell by her reactions that this was no accident) like this made him so despicably angry.

But his first priority, before he went out and beat up the bastard who had done this, was to comfort her and make sure that she was okay. So when he watched her just collapse into tears, he swiftly pulled her into a comforting hug and he gently squeezed her, wrapping both his arms around her waist, making sure that she was in no danger of being alone. She rested both hands on his shoulders, but buried her face into his t-shirt and soon enough, his hand found her hair and he tenderly unpinned her bun and let those brilliant curls come tumbling out. He rested his hand on the back of her head and shushed her peacefully, this time it being more successful than it had been down the phone. Gradually, he prised her off him, took her hand and led her over to the sofa where he motioned for her to sit down whilst he went and got her a drink of some kind.

Alex just curled up into a ball on his sofa, embracing her knees and pulling them up to her chin, sniffing back the tears still dripping off her face. Matt returned within the next five minutes with a steaming cup of tea and a bag of frozen peas which he had wrapped up in a tea-towel, handed her the tea which she gratefully took, perched down on her left hand side and cautiously grazed the peas against her bruise, trying to calm down the swelling. Holding the basic ice pack in his left hand, he placed an arm around Alex's shoulders and continued to pat the peas against the bruised flesh surrounding her left eye until there was a visible difference and she had finished with her tea.

He took the cup and dumped it clumsily in the sink, and then looked over at her figure from his kitchen. She looked so shaken up that he could hardly believe it. Alex had always been this impossibly flirtatious woman whom he had admired for so many years, and it was difficult to even see her in this state. He never expected to have to comfort her in the evening, but he didn't mind as much as he would've had it been anyone else. This thought puzzled him, but only for the briefest of moments. He had always considered their relationship to be platonic, but he knew that what had happened to her, and her choosing to come here was going to make them the strongest friends imaginable, and maybe, just maybe, something so much more.

She didn't hear him joining her once more, but she immediately felt calmed down when his hand grasped hers, and his other tilted her chin up so she was looking at him. 'Alex, I need you to tell me what happened,' he said softly, trying to make the statement sound as neutral as he possibly could. She looked up at him, and nodded, showing understanding of his request. She took in a shaky breath, the oxygen rattling her stomach, a normal human thing making her feel sick.

'We were supposed to be going out tonight, which, you know, why I'm dressed like this,' she began slowly, making reference to her dress and jewellery, 'but Jack got home late, and we missed the booking. I made some comment about how he was never home on time, and he told me that he had had to put up with that for years when I always had to come over here from America to work.

We just started arguing like we've been doing a lot recently, and Salome came out of her bedroom to see what was going on, and I said something, I can't even remember what it was but it must've been bad because he just looked so…mutinous,' she hesitated before continuing, but Matt sheltered her with his arm around her shoulders, holding her in a soft hug on his sofa, and she whispered, 'And he just…he just…he…hit me and then g-grabbed Salome and left.'

Okay, so it wasn't quite what he had been expecting. Alex had confided in him before that her marriage had been on the rocks for a while, but it wasn't something that he thought would end in domestic violence. How could someone ever hit her? She was one of the most beautiful people he knew, both on the outside and the inside, as corny as that sounded. 'It's okay Alex, you're safe here.'

'I'm so sorry for intruding Matt,' she said loudly, although her voice was shaking with the realisation of revealing what had happened to her, 'I'm sorry I've ruined your evening. It's just, I don't know anyone else who lives in London apart from Karen and Arthur but I don't know either of them well enough or where they live and so you were…'

'Alex, don't you dare apologize to me,' he said fiercely, and she was almost scared by his refusal to accept her apology; he was being so passionate about defending her, 'you have got nothing to say sorry for, you hear me? Absolutely nothing.'

She sniffed. 'Thank you Matt.'

He just nodded his head in recognition and the two remained silent for what must have been around ten minutes. During that ten minutes, Alex realized how good a friend Matt was, that he had taken her in, looked after her and been so kind to her; there was no way she could repay him. She just felt oddly at home with him. Matt just let her rest her head on his shoulder and he softly rubbed her arm, stroking her flesh in a relaxed and carefree manner before a sudden thought popped into his head, and he expressed his fail-proof plan. 'Hey Alex, do you fancy going for dinner?'

Alex looked up at him, enquiry on her face like she was asking him if he had lost all sanity and had gone stark raving mad. However, she soon put it aside and meekly replied, 'Yeah, sure.' She could see his surprise to her immediate approval, and she smiled meekly, before Matt slipped his hand back from around her waist and stood up. He promptly offered her his hand, and she grinned widely for the first time that night and accepted it, allowing herself to be pulled up off the sofa. She wobbled initially on her feet, and she made her way over to the front door to collect her shoes. Matt, who for some reason was already dressed in a formal suit (maybe he had presumed that she would accept his proposal?), quickly checked his hair in the mirror, and then joined her by the front door of his apartment.

'Matt,' she began slowly before he stepped around her to open the door for her, and he raised an eyebrow in order to tell her to continue and she murmured, 'do I look alright? You know with the whole…' she trailed off, bringing her hand up to shade her mutilated bruise. He stared at her with such kindness in his eyes that it almost made her melt. He took a stride back from the door, and took each of her hands inside one of his own.

He looked into her eyes, dark yet enchanting green staring blissfully into spellbinding oceanic blue, and he let the corners of his lips curl upwards slightly, transforming his solemn expression into one of deep friendship. 'You look beautiful Alex, just like usual.' At any other time, she would've seen that as what it was, a flirtatious compliment, but right then and there she saw it as just him trying to make her feel so much better than she did. He was picking her up from the bottom line she had found herself standing at.

She blushed fluorescent red, and her cheeks warmed to such a degree that she thought they would set on fire, and she fiddled with the straps on her black five inch heels to avoid making any sort of eye contact with him. She missed Matt beam graciously at her and she brought her head of curls back up, when the redness of her cheeks had died down, after he had unpinned her hair earlier. He swung open the door and was actually able to reveal the outside corridor to her. 'After you, my love,' he crooned cheesily, quoting his character.

He could see the twinkle in her eye that told him she was a little closer to being back to her normal self after the ordeal she had been through tonight, and she winked as she stepped out and he heard her murmur so quietly it could've passed for a sudden whoosh of air, 'Thank you Sweetie.'


	3. All This Ritzy Business

It felt warmer outside this time around; it could've been because the temperature might have really increased in the past thirty minutes, or it might've been because he had his arm wrapped around her, with his hand clutching tightly onto hers. She felt safe with him, she felt like no harm could ever come to her again, not least from her husband, and she was glad that she had actually had the guts to call him and ask for his help.

And he had helped her beyond reason. She hadn't anticipated him being this…hands on with helping her out; she had predicted the tea, but not the hugs or the tender care he had given her. She felt guilty almost for wrecking his night, like she had apologized for earlier, and even though he had told her that it expressly did not matter, she still felt bad about it. And he was taking her out for dinner as well; how was she ever going to thank him for this?

She felt extremely self-conscious however about going out. Surely if someone recognized her, and then the papers got wind of her both being with Matt but mainly being severely bruised, then what sort of crazy theories would they publish? Or would they somehow guess the truth? It made it seem like a game, evading the journalists, but this wasn't anything special. It wasn't like some sort of…date, it was one friend taking another out for dinner to make her feel a bit better after being through a rather frightful incident that she hadn't deserved.

He opened the door of the taxi for her, once again showing off his truly gentleman manners, and she, as gracefully as was possible, climbed in and sat on the left hand side on the weary back seats of the taxi. Matt quickly strode around the back of the ageing yellow taxi and plonked himself down in the seat behind the driver. Before he sat down though, he leaned forwards and muttered to the driver where he wanted him to take them, and although Alex strained her ears trying to hear what he was saying, the location just escaped her and she leant back in the seat, feeling a little more than bewildered now they were actually on their way to dinner.

Sensing her second-thoughts on whether tonight was a good idea or not, Matt looked towards her and whispered, 'Don't worry Alex, it's just dinner.'

'You're too good to me, you know that don't you?' she said, half-jokingly, half it being the most serious thing that had ever come out of her perfectly formed mouth. 'Oh, you deserve to be treated once in a while Alex,' he relied charmingly, like he was just some sort of perfect creation that God had given her. But he wasn't hers, nor was she his.

Turning his head away from her gaze, Matt promptly smacked the back of his head on the window. Okay, so, perfect but a little clumsy as well. She giggled fondly, and she was a little flustered at how ridiculous and out of place her laugh sounded. But then, to her downtrodden surprise, flustered tears began to shroud her eyes and collide sharply with the flesh of her cheeks. She quickly wiped her general eye area, wondering what on earth was going on, but realized that she couldn't help it. What the hell was wrong with her? Why was she crying?

True to form, Matt noticed this almost immediately, and in the same millisecond began questioning her on what was wrong. She didn't quite know, but maybe it was coming to a sudden point of acceptance. 'You read about this sort of thing all the time, but you never think it would be you on the receiving end,' she sniffed out, continually spreading her palms across her face to remove the glistening droplets of water leaking from her sapphire eyes, the blue becoming so pale and faint that they were almost lost, merging, with the white. Matt squeezed her hand, 'You always think that you would see it coming, and you would be strong enough to carry on, but when it actually happens, it's j-just horri…and you feel so weak and pathet…'

Her voice cracked to such a degree that she could physically not choke the words out, and, like a bullet into the side of the head, the sheer obliviousness she had portrayed in response to being used as a punch bag this evening sank in and, for the first time, Alex reflected back on the moment that her husband's knuckles had slammed into her face, and it was truly the most haunting thing in the world.

Matt was at a loss for what to do. Obviously this event would've seriously affected and dented her, but he didn't quite know how to handle it. It was okay the first time around, because that was mainly dealing with the tears of loneliness and clearing up the bruising, but this time it was the mental scars that he felt was his duty to try and heal. And he did not have the first clue where to start.

'Alex, I want you to listen to me,' he began steadily, not anticipating or knowing in advance what the words, which would hopefully be helpful, about to pour from his mouth were, 'this didn't happen to you because you were weak. It happened because Jack was. It wasn't your fault, and it never will be. No one had the right to hit any other person, especially when it's supposed to be someone you love.' And with that resounding statement, he ended his speech, centering his eyes right on her face with the words someone you love. He hoped that he had helped in some way or another with his words, but then again he wasn't Shakespeare, he couldn't uplift someone by just ordering words into a specific order.

The taxi slowed to a halt, where it parked unpresidently in front of a huge, majestic building made up of what looked like limestone and marble. There was a grand staircase leading up to the hall (or so it looked like) and it looked very Cinderella all of a sudden. Alex was still in silence after Matt's words, replaying them in her head, trying to convince herself that he was right, that it hadn't been her fault. But she still couldn't shake the immense feeling of guilt telling her if you hadn't scolded him he wouldn't have been forced to do it. You did this; it's of your own doing.

He opened the taxi door for her, and as she stepped out, she stared up once more at the street they were on, trying to deduce where they actually were. But she had lived in L.A for almost eleven years, and she had never realized until now how different the two countries were. There were thirty metre high street lights hanging over the pavements, just metres apart, lighting up the whole city. The countdown to Christmas was evident, with thousands of tiny little fairy lights dotting all over the building she and Matt were walking over to. Even the stone banisters of the stairs were wrapped in white lights and it felt so magical just walking up the steps; just like a dream.

And then she saw the name of the restaurant. She almost fell over.

'Oh, you're joking,' she breathed out breathlessly, her words almost escaping her lips before she had good opportunity to speak them. She looked up at him, eyes wide and bare, all previous mascara and make-up washed off by her tears, and he laughed at her shocked expression. 'Matt, are you being serious?'

'Perfectly Miss Kingston. I promised you dinner, and dinner you shall have,' he replied courteously, bowing at the top of stairs, and tilting his head to motion for her to start walking again. She followed him in a dream state, feeling so light and like if there was a sudden breeze, she would just fly away with the wind.

She had always wanted to go the Ritz.


	4. Something Controversial

Dinner had the potential to be extremely awkward, but in the end, it turned out pretty well. As beautiful as the restaurant looked from the outside, the moment Alex walked in, her arm wrapped through Matt's, conjoining them together, her breath was literally almost taken away. The sheer size of it was enough to make anyone speechless, yet the decoration only added to the magnificence displayed by the building.

There was a huge chandelier dangling precariously from the ceiling, which was absolutely smothered in 16th century style plaster carvings, which looked like it was just made completely out of diamond. The sixty bulbs that were encased within it beamed out, sending bright shafts of light out all over the hall. There were paintings hanging on the wall that looked like they belonged in the Louvre or the Tate, and there were hundreds of candelabras scattered across the edges of the room, all the candles individually lit. The tables themselves were rosewood and mahogany, but covered by a thin silk sheet with incredibly intricate lacing all over.

Matt had to forcibly drag her forwards a few steps when they first walked into the hall, where she was so stunned by the general splendour that Alex stopped dead. 'Come along Kingston,' he said jokily, and she snapped out of the trance and walked alongside him, suddenly aware of the stares they were getting from the other guests.

All night, so far, she had been able to spend as herself, but now they were out in public; people were going to recognize her, and people would start rumours about the bruise encompassing half of the left side of her face. She pulled a few curls in front of her left eye, and Matt smiled sympathetically as they reached the haughty looking waiter who was ready to seat them.

'Hi there, we've got a reservation under the name of Smith,' Matt said cheerily, and the waiter raised an eyebrow at the ignorant fool who was standing before him, and he coughed a little and checked the book. Alex looked at him confusedly; how and why did he have a reservation? She tugged on his sleeve a little, but he grinned at her and placed a finger to his lips and winked. There was a little moment where they just looked into each other's eyes, the rest of the world just a blur, but they were rudely interrupted by the waiter.

'Excuse me Mr Smith, if you would like to follow me to your table.' The waiter, an elderly gentleman wearing a bowtie and black suit, spoke with such a posh English accent that Matt and Alex, being the two immature adults they could be at times, almost burst into hysterics. Instead, they just snorted and then followed the waiter. He led them to a table in the middle of the room, but both were quick to protest and Matt piped up, 'You don't have a table that's a little more private do you?'

The waiter raised his eyebrows, having finally recognized who they were (along with the rest of the restaurant who were currently watching them – most being surprised by his arm around her waist and it being just the two of them), but did not protest and led them over to a small table for two by one of the huge five metre high windows in the wall. The lights outside were blurry, but could still be seen, and Matt pulled her chair out chivalrously, and then sat down opposite her.

The waiter handed them each an exquisitely lavish menu and hurried off, having just taken the order for drinks. Alex immediately dropped the menu onto the table, clattering the cutlery slightly, but not making a large noise, and asked, 'How did you have a reservation for this place?'

He smiled meagrely, and then said, 'Please don't be offended by this, but I booked this place because it was supposed to be mine and Daisy's third anniversary today.' He paused and Alex looked a little uncomfortable, but he leaned back in his chair, clasped his hands together and continued, 'But, you know about the break-up, and I was going to cancel the booking, but you rang and I thought you sounded like you needed cheering up and a bit of dinner.'

The uneasiness that had been her expression loosened and Alex smiled, 'You've done pretty well at that actually Matt. You didn't have to do this though, you know.' He grinned widely at this, leaning forward in his chair, and he took her hand which was resting innocently on the table and gave it a gentle squeeze, 'Alex, I care about you a lot, probably a bit too much-' he blushed, 'and you deserve nothing but the best.' She reddened in the cheeks as well, and yet again, the elderly waiter interrupted their moment with their drinks and a want to take their orders.

'Oh, I'll have the…' Alex began, looking down at the menu and then up at the waiter, but she hesitated when Matt started pulling faces at her across the table, imitating the posh waiter. She bit down on her lip, trying to prevent herself from giggling, and she kicked Matt under the table to try and stop him, but he just lifted his head back and stared at her impressively, sticking his chest out in another impersonation.

Alex took one look at the waiter and burst into quiet hysterical giggles for a few minutes. The waiter looked unimpressed and then turned to look at Matt, who was restraining his laughter, but also going rather purple in the face in the meantime. Alex wiped tears from her eyes and quickly replied, 'I'll have the tagliatelle please,' before she started laughing again, setting Matt off as well. 'I'll have the same,' Matt replied, and the waiter frowned nastily at the couple and quickly left, snatching the menus from them.

'Matt, don't do that!' she hissed, and he just hooked a single eyebrow and looked at her suggestively. They engaged in conversation for a long time actually, and she found it surprisingly easy to speak to him like this. They had spoken like best friends before, but this time it was in the Ritz with wine and bruises and dinner. The food itself was brilliant, but the waiter was still a little peeved at the two's mockery of him earlier.

'Oooooh, you've got to come back to mine afterwards Alex, I've got something you're going to love to see.' He said it with such excitement that she had no clue exactly what he was insinuating and as a result, she blushed ferociously red and coughed a little, alerting him to what he had just said. He laughed and replied, 'Maybe that would be best for another time. Anyway, I've got hold of the first copy of The Wedding of River Song!'

Alex looked at him, her eyes lighting up and she leant down a little, grasping the silk cloth and she almost yelled, 'How did you manage to get hold of that?' He grinned at her incredulity, and was about to tap his nose in secrecy when he just muttered under his breath, leaning across the table and whispering in her ear, 'I might have nicked the back-up copy from the director.'

'Oh you didn't,' she whispered back, and he nodded guiltily, although the pleasure he got from seeing her so happy went quite unnoticed by her. Gosh, she really didn't know how much he cared for her, did she? She didn't have the faintest clue, even though he had told her enough times tonight.' More conversation followed, the most random things talked about, but also Matt's escapade of stealing the series finale disc from the director's office and how they hadn't noticed yet.

'Do you mind if we have pudding back at mine? I have ice cream in the freezer,' Matt suggested when he asked for the bill, and Alex nodded, a little lightheaded about the fact he wanted her to return to his apartment. He had already mentioned it, but she had been so surprised by his little act of theft and what he had taken, that she had completely forgotten about it. Oh well, couldn't be that bad of a thing, it was only a DVD and some ice cream, it wasn't like it was hot, passionate, steamy sex was it?

He then paid, refusing to let her alleviate the burden in any way, shape or form, and together, arm in arm once again, they left the building, Alex's spirits soaring higher than the sky, as cheesy as that sounded.

They slowly walked out of the building, laughing and joking like hyenas until they reached the top of the grand staircase leading down to the road where they could easily call a taxi back to his apartment, which she still wasn't sure was a perfectly fantastic idea.

Before they descended the stairs, however, Matt stopped, gently grabbing Alex by the forearm and turning her around so she was facing him. He wanted to tell her something, but he couldn't get the words out, so instead, he slowly put one of his long gangly hands on either side of her beautiful face and leaned in so their foreheads were resting upon one another's. To his great relief, she didn't back away and seemed all so comfortable in this position like he was.

'Alex, I just want to tell you again how much you mean to me. I don't want you to ever forget that, and I'm not going to let you get hurt, I'm going to look after you,' he muttered, his voice like treacle sliding through her ears, pleasing her in more ways than one.

His touch was so intimate that she almost shivered, but it felt so right to have him this close.

'Matt, I just wanted to thank you, so much, for tonight,' Alex stuttered out, her voice beginning to tremble, but not breaking yet due to his hands slowly caressing her cheeks, 'I honestly don't know what I would've done without you. You picked me up, and just, thank you.' She sounded so sincere and honest that he had no doubt whatsoever in his mind that she was telling him the truth. It was just one of those moments when everything seemed like it was in a perfect state of ecstasy. One of those moments when both could forget the still visible bruises of the past, one of the moments where the whole world could just go and screw itself and neither would notice.

So he kissed her. He couldn't not kiss her really.

Due to his gentle grip on her, and the fact their foreheads were already resting deeply upon one another's he only had to lean in, tilt his head to the left a few degrees, and press his lips to hers. One of his hands immediately went to rest in her hair, and the other travelled slowly down her curvaceous form until it lay to rest on her hip. Sensing her almost reluctance, he began to pull away, realizing he may have just made the worst decision of his life, but her lips tightened on his, and she quickly wrapped her arms around his neck and indulgently began to return his kiss. He could feel her smiling against him and knowing this meant he had her approval, he only increased the intensity.

It was far from the first time they had kissed, oh they had done so that many times in the studio, but this was the first time they had kissed as Matt and Alex, not as the Doctor and River Song. The first time they had kissed of their own free will. Not that the other times hadn't been enjoyable, but this was just so extraordinary. They weren't restricted out here, they weren't being told when to stop, and how to act, and it was just a simple, natural splendour.

His fingers were now curled so tightly around her hair that he was surprised she hadn't drawn away to disentangle herself and his eyes were shut so hard that all he could see in his mind was her. Her hands were clasped around the back of his neck, twirling tiny strands of his mahogany brown hair around her fingertips. She shouldn't be enjoying this; she shouldn't be continuing doing this once she had a clear sense of what was currently happening.

It was so incredible. She had kissed him before, but never, never like this. It had always been dictated by the Doctor Who crew, but it had always been safe. This scared her in a way because she didn't know what was going to happen next. Oh, it could be anything; they could break apart and just forget it and never speak of it ever again, or they could hitch it up a notch, grab a taxi, go back to either of their apartments and just spend the night together in a more than mature way.

Technically, what they were doing right now, kissing and embracing outside of the Ritz, was pretty much illegal. She was married, even though tonight had destroyed any hopes of that lasting any longer, and every second she spent still locked in this magnificent osculation was so wrong, but it just felt so right.

She tasted absolutely gorgeous, her deep red lipstick smearing messily over his mouth as their lips brushed against one another's, exchanging more than just saliva. He couldn't get enough of her, changing the direction and expanding the size of his mouth to try and bury his lips deep within hers. There was so much he wanted to say to her, so much he wanted to do her, but knowing that none of it would be completely appropriate for either of them – no matter what either of them wanted.

But he had to apologize first. He felt like he was taking advantage of her; she was obviously in a very difficult place right now, confused beyond reason, and so deeply vulnerable that she would probably trust anyone with her right now. But he would finish this kiss first, there was no point breaking it off just to say sorry…

Eventually though, both their lungs were screaming at the top of their voices for air, and so Matt and Alex gracefully drew apart, their faces just millimetres away from each other.

'Matt,' she breathed intimately. 'Alex,' he responded in the same exhausted voice, a small smile beginning to grace his lips. There was a moment of reconcilable silence where all either could hear was the heavy breathing oscillating from each other's mouths. 'That was probably a mistake,' he said clearly, although his voice was still nothing more than a small mumble. She nodded slightly, whilst his hands now, again, resting on her pale cheeks, and ignored the previous statement for a moment. She refrained from speaking for such a long time that Matt eventually just gave in, removed his hands and began to walk slowly away, beginning to descend down the stone steps. He almost tore his tie off, but just undid it and the top button, feeling very Bond in that motion. He had almost reached the bottom, a deep depression beginning to sink to the bottom of his stomach, when there was a loud tapping behind him, increasing in volume until a voice pierced through the atmosphere, the voice he so wanted to just say something.

'Matt!' she called desperately, and he turned reluctantly to see her holding up the hem of her dress to prevent herself from tripping or getting it dirty, running down the steps as quickly as she could. 'Matt! Wait one second!' He gave her the time that she required, and waited for her to reach him at the bottom of the stairs. The beams from the street lights amplified the bruise that was beginning to blacken around her eye, but he ignored this and looked directly at her. He just raised an eyebrow when she positioned herself a few centimetres away, and she just frowned sadly at him.

'Yeah, it was probably was a mistake,' she began, and he was confused as to how this had any relevance to her actions, 'but mistakes aren't always bad.' He was even more perplexed by this in the split second before she launched herself forwards and kissed him even more ferociously and passionately than before. He staggered backwards with the force at which she collided with him, but he instantly wrapped both arms around her shoulders, running his fingers through her luxurious masses of hair, and she kissed him with such desperation that he knew she was scared of what she was doing, afraid of being caught, afraid of what the consequences for her would be.

'Alex, let's go back to mine?' he suggested after almost four minutes, and she immediately looked a bit concerned and her expression turned fearful and anxious and a tad nervous. She stuttered initially but quickly mumbled, 'Matt I can't-'. He smiled like she was a young blushing schoolgirl caught in the act of copying someone else's homework.

'No, not like that,' he chuckled, and the relief that appeared on her face may have been slightly offending at any other time, 'I promised ice cream and an unaired episode of Doctor Who. I'm good with promises.'

Matt called a taxi and, hand in hand, they entered it, unaware of the controversy that would be caused the next day.


	5. The Lion King

_By the way, the last chapter, I had no idea what the Ritz looked like so I made it up hope you're all enjoying the story _

The taxi back to Matt's apartment was uneventful as far as could be told, and yet the atmosphere was almost electric whenever they caught each other's eye. But her head was spinning sickly with the sudden dawning of what she had just done sinking into her conscience. Sure, Jack had hurt her beyond imagination tonight and as far as she was concerned, their marriage was over due to that and every other issue they had had over the past few months, but she shouldn't have kissed him back the first time, and she shouldn't have…jumped on him and kissed him back.

And she shouldn't have bloody enjoyed it as much as she had. And she shouldn't be bloody wanting to do it again. Oh for goodness sake, she was almost twenty years older than him, she was old enough to be his bloody mother, and yet she knew he was attracted to her, and she wanted to kick herself for feeling the same way about him. She tried to put it on the two glasses of wine she had consumed that evening, but she had very high alcohol tolerance and she would never do anything like this just on two glasses. Oh bloody hell.

He smiled nervously at her, showing that he was thinking the exact same thoughts, but she couldn't bring herself to return it. She was too overwrought to even try and work any of the muscles in her face or in the rest of her body. Time felt like it was incinerating as every second passed, each minute lasting the length of an eternity, and before they reached Matt's place, Alex began to have very serious doubts about what she was doing. He was her co-worker; if anything…happened then she couldn't even picture how awkward the rest of her life on Doctor Who would be.

But when he flashed her that grin as he pulled open the door of the conspicuously yellow taxi, she forgot everything she had been previously worrying about and just felt her heart swell. Oh God, she was turning into a cheesy moron.

'Come on Miss Kingston,' he called as she fell behind him as they clambered up the twelve flights of stairs to his gorgeous apartment. She rolled her eyes and he ignored this, and they both just smiled. Upon reaching his front door, Alex leant against the wooden frame and looked up at him ever so slightly, biting her lip. 'You know,' he began, not looking at her but down at his keys, trying to pick the right one, 'you look a bit too attractive for me to concentrate.' He looked up at her and smiled sweetly, 'Would you please stop being so pretty?'

She giggled and blushed slightly, not near tipsy from the wine, but a little more relaxed than usual. He pushed the door open a little bit forcefully and held it open with his hand for her to walk through. Again, the general snazziness of the apartment hit her quite forcefully and she dumped her heels by the door and hung her coat up inside the cupboard once again.

He followed closely behind, enjoying his view when she leant down to place her shoes to the floor, and smirked and continued into the kitchen, joining her by the counter. Once there, swiftly took her by the waist and almost carried her over to the little island where he pinned her against the counter and looked down at her, the lack of her heels making an obvious difference in their height. Matt bent his neck down a few inches and gently whispered into her ear, making her stop squirming and laughing immediately, and causing her to tense and goose bumps to run up her arms.

'So Alex, ice cream and The Wedding of River Song?' How he managed to make that question sound seductive and alluring, but it still set her heart pounding through her chest at what felt like a million miles an hour. She nodded vigorously, and to her intent disappointment, he removed his hands and made his way to the fridge, dismissing her to the sofa. She began to pound one of the pillows into shape in order to get more comfortable, when she realized it would be very difficult for her to sprawl out across the sofa in her dress.

'Matt, do you think it would be okay if I borrowed some slacks or something?' she piped up, feeling a little uncomfortable at the question of which she was asking. She swore she heard him snort loudly with laughter before she glared and narrowed her eyebrows over the sofa, and he returned an answer to her question, 'Yeah sure, I'll get you some tracksuit bottoms or something. You do the ice cream.' He motioned for her to come and scoop the rest of the dessert, and Matt disappeared into the master bedroom and came out a few minutes later with a pair of grey tracksuit bottoms and a vest top.

'Here you go Alex, not the most flattering thing in the world, but I'm sure you'll look lovely,' he called and she took the pile of clothes and thanked him and took due course to go into the spare room and change. She certainly felt a lot more comfortable (although the vest top being white and her underwear being black wasn't the most hidden thing in the world) and with confidence in her step, she plonked herself down on the sofa next to him and curled up beside him.

Halfway through the episode, Matt checked his watch and was astounded to see the time to be almost one o'clock in the morning. Thank God they didn't have work tomorrow, he thought with relief filling him. During the episode though, Alex had twisted herself slightly, readjusted her position on the couch so that she was sat right up close to him, with one hand on his chest, and sleep was beginning to make her drowsy and she slumped next to him, and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, kissing her on the temple, just for the sake of it really.

'And wife, I have request; this world is dying and it's my fault and I can't bear it another day. Please help me.'

'Then you may kiss the bride.'

'I'll make it a good one.'

'You better.'

'That was a good kiss,' Alex piped up absentmindedly, a yawn seeping through her tone when she spoke, and he played fondly with the tips of her hair. He grinned down at her and she removed her head from his chest and looked up at him, smiling genteelly. 'As good as the two earlier?' he asked playfully, and she beamed, 'Oh, you don't get much better than a snog outside the Ritz, do you?'

The rest of the episodes, eight minutes or so, passed in quiet, and when it was over, Alex exclaimed her joy at how fantastic she had found the episode. She requested to know what the time was, and when he told her it was now almost half one in the morning, she looked simply too tired to be shocked. They snuggled, almost, on the sofa for however long it may have been before Alex plucked up the immeasurable courage she had called up on rather a lot this evening and asked, 'Matt, would it be okay if I stayed tonight?'

He looked down on her, not knowing what expression he was currently portraying but guessing it must've been sarcastic questioning seeing as her next piece of speech was accompanied by a few miniature tears which slowly poured from underneath her eyelids, 'I just can't be alone tonight. And I know you've got a spare room, and I just can't go home,' she whispered fretfully, her voice cracking miserably.

'Of course you can stay Alex, you didn't even need to ask,' he reassured her, and he would bet on his life that she looked like she was about to cry from happiness. Instead, she just looked up at him, gave a small watery grin and murmured, 'Thank you so much Matt. Just thank you.' There was tension enough that it could ripped open with a paper shredder, and their eyes caught each other's gaze again that it was very reminiscent of earlier that evening. But instead of going forwards for the obvious kiss on the lips, he just brushed a finger against her cheek, and then against the bruise on her eye that had been slightly neglected for the last hour, and then he placed his index finger on one of the forward-most of her curls and wrapped it around his finger.

'You're so beautiful, you know Alex,' he whispered dreamily, and she tried to nod her head but found herself unable to move. It was like he had cast a spell on her, and whenever he even looked in her direction she turned to wobbly jelly and couldn't bear to slip from his grip. They had had obvious chemistry for the past two years together, but as much as she had wanted for it to become like this, she was still in shock that it had been tonight for it to happen. But she recognized that neither of them had a clue what they were doing. How long would they be able to keep up this charade? How long would it be before people found out about her unfaithfulness? However, none of these questions were for tonight, well, today rather, everything could wait until later on.

'Do you want to watch a film or something?' he asked clearly, breaking the moment ever so slightly, and she nodded half-heartedly, beginning to succumb to tide of utter peacefulness, serenity and tiredness that was crushing her. When she woke up the next morning, Alex couldn't quite remember what film he had put on, but she knew it was something like the Lion King.

But as the songs played, and his grip on her slacked slightly, and he pressed occasional kisses to the top of her head, Alex drifted off into an unsteady, but deep sleep in Matt's arms, finally in a place where she could be safe, if only from her dreams as well.

When Matt noticed this, he, as so not to wake her, quietly switched off the television that was already on quite low sound anyway (he was slightly peeved about this – his favourite song was coming up, but, never mind), and stood up. He looked down at her for a few seconds, enthralled by her captivating beauty, and he had never once been so happy in his twenty nine years. He had never encountered someone so professional and yet cheeky, someone so flirtatious yet so loyal, someone who wouldn't stand for all the shit in the world and who wouldn't take a hit and let it happen again. Someone who needed her friends, and someone whose friends needed her.

He needed her. He needed her more than oxygen. He needed her more than he needed a house, a job, and money. He needed her more than food and water, more than anybody else.

Carefully, he raised her body into his arms with a surprising amount of grace and carried her to his bedroom, where he lay her down in the middle of his rather comfortable double bed and then drew the quilt almost up to her chin. He brushed that one stray curl out of her eyes and placed a tender kiss on her forehead, and whispered, 'Night Alex, sleep tight, stay beautiful,' before leaving his room and taking up residence for the night in the spare room on the single mattress, unable to think of anyone or anything else apart from the stunning woman in the room next door.


	6. The Stuff of Nightmares

_She cowered in the corner as he advanced towards her, a dangerous glint in his eyes. His eyebrows were narrowed threateningly and his hand was already clenched into a tight fist where his nails were digging into the flesh of his palms. She whimpered meagrely and tried to crawl backwards, her whole body trembling with fright, but he just kept on approaching her, never stopping to think. _

_She tried to plead with him, but he ignored her and when he reached her, he dragged her up by the wrist, yanking her sharply upwards, not bothering with the fact he was hurting her. She let tears pour from her eyes and she begged him not to hurt her, but he just slapped her and quietened her. He looked horrifically enraged and he slammed her against the wall, making her smack her head on the plaster and fall down to the ground. _

_He hurt her before, and she was stupid enough to go back to him. She forgot all about her affair with Matt and went back to her husband, deciding that he should get another chance. But he found out about their kisses, and the bruise remaining from the first hit was just a distant memory now, covered up by the scars from the more recent attacks._

_He made her feel so worthless, so stupid and vile and ridiculous. He made her hate herself to the point where his damages to her were not the only one inflicted on her. She couldn't believe that her life had come to this – living like this, pretending to be fine and saying that she just kept falling over, because she was just too outspoken. It was her own fault really, she had known Matt was temptation, the forbidden fruit; she just shouldn't have gone there. She knew she wouldn't be able to restrain herself from him, and yet she still went and deliberately disobeyed her husband._

_In a way, it made her hate Matt as well._

_From her crumpled position on the floor, he pulled her back up, almost wrenching her shoulder from its socket, and took another step, burying her into the wall so her back was slammed straight up against it. He leant his face right in towards her so they were only parted by a few millimetres and she tried to move her head to the side so he couldn't reach her, and she tried to scramble to get out of the way, but he pinned her arms to her sides and wouldn't let her go. His lips brushed against her chin and he slowly drawled, 'Alex, Alex, Alex, you hurt me didn't you? Running off with that…little boy, and leaving me with your daughter?'_

_She nodded frantically, trying to agree at all costs, not even bothering to correct him that it was his fault. There was no point saying anything anymore. She dared to look up at him, and her eyes watered and she could swear she saw sympathy in his eyes. But then she realized that it wouldn't be there…she didn't deserve it. _

'_Oh, why do you make me feel so bad about giving you what you deserve Alex? You know it's what you need, to keep you in line, so why do you have be so weak about it?' he asked angrily, in a low, growling manner and she breathed out harshly. She had been so sure that today, for once, he would leave her alone instead of decorating her with patchworks. 'I'm sorry Jack, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,' she cried and he just looked at her with contempt before turning and moving to walk away._

_She must've exclaimed relief very loudly for he sharply turned around and slammed the back of his hand around her face, pushing her into the wall where she again hit her head and collapsed onto the floor, battered, bruised and bleeding, hoping that someone would come and save her. But no one would – she couldn't tell anyone, he would kill her. And God knows he was capable of it. But if he hurt Salome, she would get to him first. That was the one thing that kept her living or leaving - she knew her daughter needed her more than she needed help._

'_Matt, help me,' she breathed out inaudibly, before closing her eyes and praying that no one at work would ask her about the latest addition to her accident list._

Alex awoke with the biggest start in all of history, flinging her eyes open desperately to find the bruise coating her eye paining her more than ever before, and she openly wept to herself. She was in such shock after that horrifying vision that she was shaking an incredible amount even though the room was rather hot. It took her a while to remember where she was, but once she did, she wondered how she had gotten into a double bed, and where he was exactly.

She sat up against the back board, and pulled the heavy duvet up to her chin and looked nervously around the room, her eyes darting from side to side, making sure she was definitely alone. That dream, vision, nightmare, whatever you wanted to call it, was the future, she could tell. She couldn't go back, she couldn't let that happen to her. She needed someone to protect her; she needed someone to help her.

Slowly, she creeped out of the bed, fumbled around in one of the bedside drawers for a torch, quickly flipped it on and walked out of the bedroom. The apartment looked terrifying in this darkness, with all the lights switched off, casting her in darkness. She looked around, moving the torch around, making sure there was no one hiding in the shadows behind the doors, before edging her way around the flat, trying to find the handle for the spare room. She just couldn't be alone, like she said already; she couldn't even be by herself in a room, especially after that vision.

Before finding the handle, she stopped and raised her hand to her face, checking for any of the mismatch that it had been like during her dream. Another tear trickled down her cheek when she felt the swelling around her eye and she almost burst into sobs, but she just managed to stop herself.

She found the handle pretty easily to be fair, and she thought about the moral implications of what would happen if she continued. The handle squeaked loudly and annoyingly when she pressed it down and pushed the door open, trying not to wake him.

Matt was a pretty beautiful human being if she was honest. Even just looking at tonight, he had done so much for her and nothing she asked was too much. And here he was, having sacrificed his bed and his room for her, lying in a whisperless sleep in a small single bed. Luckily for her, he was only sleeping on just over half of the mattress, and she couldn't see how joining him would hurt either of them.

He was topless, unsurprisingly, and as she approached him, she slipped out of the tracksuit bottoms he had lent her into her underwear, and then nervously sat on the corner of the bed and looked down at him, the vest long enough to cover the tops of her legs as well. He told her earlier that he cared for her a lot, and she couldn't help but reciprocate it. Who knows, maybe it was just caring, or maybe it was a hell of a lot more than that.

She leant down and kissed him on the jaw and then slid down beside him. His presence calmed her more than she believed to be possible and he was warm beside her, completely unaware of how much this was helping her. She curled into his chest, and she was a little surprised when his arm subconsciously wrapped itself around her back, and his other hand moved into her hair. She smiled to herself and she almost managed to feel a little better as she sank into another sleep, this time a little happier – she hoped. But nothing could hurt her when she was here.

Later on today, they would have to hide from the world. One day, someone would find out, and the whole nation would be in uproar about it. Sometime, maybe, they could be together, if only for a few days. She could never thank him enough for what he had done for her, and she could spend a lifetime repaying him.

'I love you Matt,' she murmured unsurely, glad he was asleep for that because she wasn't okay with saying it to his face.

She missed the smile that graced his lips, the smirk that almost escaped due to the fact he was still awake.

He tightened his grip on her as she dozed, and kissed her on the forehead.

She was safe here.

In his arms.

In his bed.

She was home at last.


	7. All Good Things Must Come to an End

_Right, sorry about the length of these chapters, I know they're a bit short, but I'm trying to update as frequently as possible. Please review guys. _

She couldn't be sure which of them woke up first, but she had the sneakiest suspicion that he had only been feigning sleep as to not make it awkward for her. She slowly fluttered her eyelids open, her left eye taking significantly longer, although the swelling was no way near as bad as it had been a few hours previously; now that it had been given time to heal. She was in quite a comfortable position, although the majority of her upper half was sprawled across his torso, and her hands were resting on his shoulders. Her exquisite curls were resting right underneath his chin, tickling him slightly as she moved.

She wasn't aware of much, but she was certainly aware of the fact his hand was resting lightly on the piece of skin just below her hips and underwear. That was a bit of a…intimate touch, but she found herself unable to care as she yawned widely and sleepily looked up at him, smiling groggily. He grinned toothily back, and carefully removed his hand, not bothering to apologize, knowing she didn't really mind very much.

'So Miss Kingston, what brought you to my bed this morning?' he asked calmly as she rolled off his body and sat up slightly against the small backboard. The bed was now very crammed with the two of them snuggled up together, leaning on the wooden frame of the bed, but she turned her head and looked at him, her smile having disintegrated for now.

'Sorry about that Matt, bad dream you know,' she murmured hastily, feeling a little stupid about how she had reacted to it. He frowned a little, and struggled to find the room to put his arm around her shoulders, bare apart from the vest he had given her earlier on. 'You want to talk about it?' he asked, his tone telling her that it didn't matter if she said no, and he didn't want to force her into it.

He had planned on asking her about the three words she had mentioned to him when she had believed him to be asleep last night, but now this recent development had come to light, it didn't really seem the right thing to start talking about.

Not all to his surprise, she shook her head frantically and replied, 'No, it was just a…silly thing. I shouldn't have gotten so upset about it, but I was tired and it was late…' Her explanation was a little vague for his liking, and in all truthfulness he would've liked to have known what exactly her dream was about and why it was bothering her, but he wasn't going to push her. Whatever she said, she was still in a fragile state of both body and mind.

She sniffed back what looked like a few tears, but she dismissed it and he did too.

'You want some breakfast? I think I've got some bacon in the fridge,' Matt suggested dozily and Alex nodded, clambering out of the bed and out of his reach, bending down to grab the tracksuit bottoms and slid them back up her legs again. However, the most awkward thing about this situation was the fact it wasn't awkward at all. You would think that sleeping in the same bed (but not going that far) and having previously kissed someone you work with would be an incredibly inexpert thing to do, but it didn't feel strange at all.

And that's why it felt a little odd at the same time.

She could feel his eyes burning into her and she blushed slightly but then stood up straight and turned around, put her small hand around his and pulled him out of the bed, requiring a little more strength than a bulldozer. Gosh that man weighed a lot, no matter how skinny he was. He groaned when he came tumbling out of bed, but he quickly ran both hands through his hair to brush it back and followed her out into the kitchen.

Alex found the mirror outside the bedroom, hanging subtly on the wall next to the bathroom, and she quickly fixed her hair which was literally all over the place, looking the curliest she had ever seen it at this time in the morning. She attempted to pat it down, but it just bounced back up, springing all over the place, and she just left it, going to the kitchen where Matt had pulled out a pack of bacon, a few eggs and two frying pans and was currently frying up some breakfast.

He was a bit incompetent to be fair. She realized that he hadn't really cooked for anyone else before, and she felt a little sorry for Daisy how she had coped with him for three years. But she liked that about him, how he was trying anything to impress her. In the end, she pushed him out of the way and took over, and he smirked a little at how well she did it. Eventually, he realized that she needed to be distracted.

Creeping up behind her from the little island, Matt quietly approached Alex and quickly grabbed her around the waist, making her almost jump out of her skin. She tried to turn around and face him, but he held her firmly by the waist, and pressed kisses to the side of her neck, and she squirmed pleasurably, but also out of the fact she was very ticklish in that area. 'Matt, Matt, stop it,' she giggled, trying to slap him away whilst she cooked the breakfast, but he continued until she playfully elbowed him in the ribs and he stumbled back dramatically, pretending to be hurt by her reaction. It was funny how domestic they really were, even though they were currently stuck in the limbo between friends and…lovers, sort of. That word made her feel a little guilty though.

She served him his breakfast and then dished up her own before they sat at the chairs around the little table in the corner of his apartment. They had been sat for no longer then ten seconds before a loud song began playing through the kitchen, emanating from Alex's mobile phone in the pocket of her jacket.

_Stars shining bright above you, night breezes seem to whisper "I love you", birds singing in the sycamore tree, dream a little dream of me. _

Startled at first, she worried it might be Jack, but she hurried to pick it up, seeing the name to actually be Karen, and the conversation that followed was a little confusing for the both of them.

He saw her expression change almost instantly, and when she put the phone down, she ignored his cries of what was wrong, and stormed across his apartment and turned the television on, flicking straight to channel one. Matt left his breakfast on the side of the table, clunking his cutlery onto the table and he hurried over to her, trying to see what on earth could've caused this action to set into motion.

'Oh.'

'Well, that's probably the worst thing that could possibly happen,' she breathed out, her eyes wide with shock and fear. He trawled his fingers across in the air until he reached her hand and he unsteadily grabbed it and held her tightly, never diverting his gaze from the television screen.

Who the hell had seen that? And who the hell had sent it to the BBC news?

'_Doctor Who stars Matt Smith and Alex Kingston were seen sharing a kiss outside of the Ritz, London last night at half past eleven. Our source has informed us they spent two hours in the restaurant and afterwards took a taxi back to Mr Smith's London apartment. We have also been informed that Miss Kingston was heavily bruised around the left eye area, showing she may have suffered some kind of attack before going to her co-worker for support. It is presumed that they are still together at this time. On to other news, the government…_'

Oh, and if that report wasn't enough, during the information stream came the three pictures, one from far away and what looked like from inside a taxi, a close up, proving beyond a doubt that it was in fact them, and then the moment she had leapt towards him and kissed him again. The rest of the news blared across the screen, but both were completely ignorant to it. Their hands almost slipped from each other's, but something made them keep holding on so tightly that it hurt sometimes. Both of their mouths were just hanging open in shock.

'Matt…what do we do?' Alex enquired almost soundlessly, turning to look at him. He just shook his head, showing he didn't know. And then, something terrible pounded into her head like a tennis ball to her forehead. 'Matt, what's Jack going to do to me?'

That snapped him from the trance and he instantly turned to face her and grabbed both of her hand and pulled her up close to him. 'Alex,' he said seriously, his brow creasing with the severity of what he was about to say, 'I'm so sorry, this is all my fault.' She tried to shake that off, to tell him that he was being ridiculous, that she was the one who had called him first, but he cut her off mid-stream, continuing to say, 'Alex, you can stay here for a while if you want to, you know that don't you?'

She so awfully wanted to say yes, because, in all honesty, she would give everything not to go home and face her husband again, but she couldn't hide in his apartment for the rest of her life. She didn't know what she had been thinking, but she knew she had just been trying to put it off until this moment. Now she actually had to make the decision.

'I've got to go home Matt, I can't stay here forever, and it's better late than never.' She slowly slipped from his grip, but he pulled her back around and held onto her more tightly than ever before, holding her body ridiculously close to his. He tucked a stray curl behind her left ear, but then brushed the back of his hand against her bruise, accidentally making her wince, 'But Alex, he doesn't love you, and I do. I know you feel the same. I can't let you go back and let him hurt you, because he will.'

However, she didn't hear the latter sentence. _"He doesn't love you, and I do"._ Oh God, this was all too fast, it was too fast. Yes, she had said it to him last night, but he had been asleep, hadn't he? She looked deep into his face. Oh that git, that sly, sly git. 'You…you were awake weren't you?'

Matt smiled for the first time in the last five minutes and just simply nodded, and she hit him on the arm before he wrapped both off his arms around her waist, dipped her over his arm like in the old black and white movies and gently kissed her. She brought her body back up, still connected to him, and consciously kissed him back, hoping it wouldn't be, but knowing this should probably be the last time.

'Will you drive me home?' she asked as she changed into her dress around ten minutes later as he watched in from the doorway, and he looked at her sadly, extraordinarily concerned for her wellbeing and wondering whether he could let her go, and then slowly nodded. She grimaced, knowing she might well be going to her nightmare. She handed him back his clothes and he chucked them into his room before going and fetching her coat for her from the cupboard behind the front door. He opened the front door, the bright light outside bursting through the huge windows almost blinding them at ten in the morning, and she followed him out, restraining her huge sobs that were threatening to splurge from her eyes and destroy her emotions once again.

The car journey was completely silent. When he reached her apartment block, only fifteen minutes around the corner, although the traffic held them up for a few moments, she thanked him and went to leave, but he took her hand and pulled her back inside the car. He looked at her, melancholy and sombre, and it almost broke both their hearts.

'Alex, please look after yourself. Please, this is hard enough already for me to let you go back, so if you need me at all, call me. I don't care at what time, if you're worried or upset, you call me and I will come and pick you up. I care about you too much for you to get hurt again,' he murmured, and she almost collapsed into tears, several pouring from her eyes down her lips and dribbling down her chin onto her chest. She bit her lip, attempting to hold the droplets of water steaming in her eyes back.

'Matt, I don't want to go back to him,' she wailed and with that, Alex brought her hands up to her eyes and broke down again, her whole body wracking and shaking with sobs. It was difficult to comfort her inside the car, and so Matt jumped from his seat, slammed the door behind him, walked around to her side of the car and gently unpacked her from his Ford and gathered her weeping form into his arms.

'Alex, Alex, Alex,' he whispered in her ear, shushing her soothingly, trying to calm her whilst people in cars stared as they drove past the busy street. 'You know you can stay with me for as long as you like, and you know I don't like the idea of you going back, but maybe you can talk with Jack about it, and then you can call me. I'm always here.' He heard her sob even louder at that, and he pulled some tissues out of his pockets and gave them to her in order for her to wipe her eyes.

'Do you want me to walk you to your apartment?' he asked kindly, his own eyes beginning to water, a single tear leaking from his forest green eye. She shook her head sharply, knowing that if she allowed him to accompany her, she wouldn't be able to let go and she would run away with him. 'Hey, remember that I'm here for you,' he said as she began to detach herself from him. He put his left hand on the back of her head and kissed her on the lips for the briefest moment, leaving his taste fresh upon her lips as she began the walk of shame to her apartment, knowing she was making one of the worst decisions on her life.


	8. He Knew This Would Happen

_Be not afeared, it may sound like it near the end, but this is not the last chapter. I've already started the next one, and I have an idea for the one afterwards, but then it's up to you guys and what ideas you have. Enjoy, and sorry about how short it is. _

For the rest of the day, he waited and he worried about her.

On the next day, he waited and he panicked about her.

On the third day, he waited and he considered going to see her.

On Monday, he forgot about eating, he forgot about sleeping and drinking, he just waited by his phone set, anxiety settling into the pit of his stomach about how she had yet to contact him. He had texted her a few times, nothing that could be picked up upon as romantic or anything, but she hadn't responded, and he was so scared for her that he could barely believe it. By half past seven in the evening, his fingernails were worn down to the point where his fingers would start bleeding if any more got chewed off, and he was twitching nervously, one minute raring to go and get her, the next restraining himself from being too over protective.

He knew that she lived her own life, and he shouldn't be so hung up on her seeing as they spent only a day together, all in all, and in the grand scheme of things, that meant absolutely nothing to anybody. Luckily, the newspapers had stopped publishing images and articles about them quite quickly, and the television journalists had calmed down after the excitement. Both Karen and Arthur had tried ringing him, but he had ignored them, just in case Alex called when he was on the phone and she couldn't get through.

Sleeping in a bed without her being there was weird now. Ever since Daisy left, he had been sleeping by himself and he hated it, but he had had Alex there and it was one of the most incredible things and now she was just gone. He was so frightened that Jack might have hurt her again, and he would never be able to forgive himself if something bad had happened to her again. And if he did hurt her again, he wasn't letting her go back to him, and she would stay with him for as long as she needed to.

His train of thoughts were interrupted when a sudden shrill ringing began to sound urgently through the din of his empty apartment. He promptly fell of the sofa trying to reach out and grab for his landline telephone and quickly picked himself up, grabbing it on the third ring. 'Hello, hello? Alex?' he asked desperately, and he ran his hand through his hair in anticipation until someone answered.

'Matt? It's me, oh my God; you've got to help me. Jack's just gone out, please come and get me,' Alex wailed down the phone, her shrieks of pain making his ears just want to bleed in pain. Her voice was frantic and extremely frail, but she sounded like she was begging him and he immediately took that to mean something was seriously wrong.

'Alex, what the hell has happened? Has he hurt you again?' he yelled down the phone, beginning to pace angrily back and forth, back and forth, almost fuming with rage over Jack and if he had hit her again. She snivelled down the phone and he heard her crying softly before quickly answering, 'He saw the news before we did.' That was answer enough. His eyes burned ferociously and he almost roared out in agony for her.

'Okay, is Salome with you?' Matt asked, trying to calm down and b sensible about this before he let his emotions get the better of him. 'No, she's with my mother. Jack sent her back to L.A yesterday so she didn't get in the way,' Alex whimpered weakly, and his mind was made up. He was already at the door by the end of her answer, running down the twelve floors in the fastest possible time, and in his car when she murmured, 'Matt, please get here quickly. I don't know how long he'll be gone for.'

She was so scared that it ripped his heart apart and he was very close to completely breaking down himself, but he knew he had to be strong for her. It was going to take a long time for Alex to recover from this by the time he rescued her, she was going to be so emotionally ruined that he wasn't sure he would be able to pick her back up, and he if her damned husband had done anything to damage her physically, which he was pretty sure he had, he was going to obliterate him.

'Don't worry Alex; I'll be there in ten minutes max. Can you leave the door open for me?' he asked, beginning to pull away from the curb in his Ford Focus, stamping his foot down on the accelerator, pulling out dangerously in front of another car going at fifty down a thirty road. She humbly agreed and he cut the phone line dead, slamming the accelerator pedal down as far as it would go in attempt to get there as fast as possible.

Six minutes and five red lights later, Matt pulled up by Alex's apartment building, leapt out of the car with so much energy he nearly fell over, and sprinted up to the fourth floor where her small London apartment could be found. What he missed was the car that soon after pulled up behind him, the occupant recognizing the car parked in front straight away…

He burst through the open door to her apartment and quickly scanned the room for her. He started to become hysterical when he couldn't see her, but Matt's ears pricked up and he heard her voice call, 'Matt, I'm in the kitchen.' He hastened over to the kitchen, where Alex was slumped in one of the chairs by her small wooden table, a bruise on her right cheek pulsating with every beat of her heart, the one around her left eye having faded slightly. There were small black blemishes up her arms and her lip was badly cracked and bleeding a little.

'Oh Alex,' he gushed out, running over to her and putting his arm around her waist, pulling hers over his shoulders and gently pulling her out of the chair to a position where she was standing but only barely. She winced in atrocious agony when he accidentally bumped her on the ribs, where he presumed she had possibly broken one, and he began to carry her across the room to the door, hanging ajar when his plans to get her out without being seen were scuppered on sight.

The moment Matt saw Jack standing in the doorway, looking too drunk to even be standing at this moment in time, he carefully put Alex down and stormed over to him, viscous and outraged anger all over his pale face. He was over three inches taller than Jack, and although he was skinnier, it did give him a slight advantage. 'What're doing here you stupid berk?' Jack yelled angrily, pushing Matt back a few centimetres, 'Get your hands…off my wife!' he roared, staggering towards him lazily, wavering from side to side.

Matt completely lost it at that. 'I suggest you let us leave or I'm going to be forced to do something I really want to do but probably shouldn't,' he muttered darkly, pulling Jack up by the collar so furiously that he was raised a few centimetres from the ground. Alex looked fearfully upon the scene, her expression hard to make out by the vicious bruising everywhere, but she so dearly wanted to call out to Matt to be careful. Jack caught her eye and looked at her vengefully, with so much drunken hatred that she found it difficult to figure out if they had ever actually been in love or not.

'You're not going anywhere with that whore!' Jack yelled, and with that, Matt lowered him back onto his feet, took a step back to widen the distance to half a metre, and punched him squarely in the face, taking precision so he cracked in right in the centre, making sure he definitely fractured and may have broken his nose. Jack looked at him for one second, raised his finger and started to point at him, and then collapsed onto the floor. There was silence in the apartment until Alex suddenly cried out in pain, her maybe cracked rib hurting her.

Matt immediately went to her side, and seeing that she was in too much pain to walk, he softly scooped her into his arms and carried her over to the doorway, before remembering that she would be staying with him for a while so she would need some clothes and accessories. 'Alex, I'm going to go and pack some stuff up for you. If he wakes up,' Matt pointed at her unconscious husband lying face down on the floor, 'Shout for me and make sure you stamp on his face.'

Alex made her way over to the sofa in her living room, quite close to the front door, and collapsed down, whilst Matt went into her bedroom and bathroom and collected a few outfits (basic stuff like t-shirts and jeans rather than fancy dresses and…underwear. That was a little awkward) and her toothbrush and stuff. He hurried back to her, having stuffed quite a large amount of her wardrobe into a big bag he found in the corner of her room, and again heaved her into his arms, asking her if she could possibly hold the bag.

They walked gracefully down the steps, the evening darkness beginning to settle through the windows on each floor until they reached her car to which he gently placed and strapped her in. he went and sat in the driver's seat, but leant his hand across and delicately stroked her cheek. 'Alex, you're never going back there. You're staying with me.' She weakly nodded and managed a tiny smile, and they began the drive back to his apartment, hands held all the while.

He had known that if she ahd gone back, she would've gotten hurt, and yet he still let her go. It was killing him that if he had only put up more resistance to the idea, that she wouldn't be in an even worse state than he believe she would be. The left bruise which had caused so much anxiety a few days ago looked practically pretty next to the few she had acquired in his absence. The huge black and blue mark on her right cheek looked almost venomous and was covering a slash caused, by what looked like, nails.

The bruises down her arms discnerted him because he had no idea how they had got there. But the thing that worried him the most was the way she kept applying pressure to an area which was made up of her ribcage. He feared there may had been some sort of struggle in which he might've pushed her or kicked her, and she had cracked her rib. Oh, even thinking about it made him wish he had punched that bastard harder, but there was no point thinking about it now.

Alex was safe with him; he was never going to let her get harmed again, not least by him, and he was going to love her for the rest of forever, if she let him. He squeezed her hand tightly, one remaining tear falling down his cheek. 'I love you Alex, we're going to be okay. You and me, we're going to be fine.'

Later that evening, on an anonymous tip off, Jack Mahny was picked up by police for the attack on Alex Kingston which had been reported alongside the news of her kiss with Matt Smith four days ago. He was sentenced to five years in prison for domestic violence and abuse and plus the extra charge of drink driving, without trial, and that was the last that Alex and Matt saw of him.


	9. Lonely, Not Crazy

Sometime during the short drive back to Matt's place, Alex was finally able to allow her rushes of adrenaline and fear calm down to an almost-normal level and she gradually fell into a quiet bout of unconsciousness, unable to support her body anymore. She knew, she had always known, that if she had gone back home, this would've happened; but there was something, just this little thing hiding away in the shadows in the back of her head that had told her she would be okay. And that tiny little idea had overpowered all her reason and convinced her it was the right thing to do.

There was a dull, miserable aching in her ribs. _'You bitch, you stupid, stupid bitch. Did you honestly think I wouldn't find out?' he roared, kicking her just above the stomach, a sickening crack gracing the apartment. She whimpered, trying to curl into a ball on the floor, covering her torso so he wouldn't be able to do it again._

There was a stinging, burning sensation on her right cheek. _'Jack, y-you've been drinking. Please just go and sleep it off,' she begged, stepping away from him, getting close to running. Instead, just like in her dream, he advanced towards her until she was up against the wall. 'So, how's dear Matthew?' he asked viciously, sarcasm invading his tone. Alex tried to run, but his palm collided with her cheek and knocked her head backwards into the wall._

There was a deep crack in her lip. _But that was too horrifying an experience to retell._

She realized, then and there, that she had only gone back because she was afraid of what would happen if she stayed with Matt. But for now, that fear was gone.

Matt's hands were gripped tightly around the steering wheel, and his teeth were clenched in a still remaining fury. There were tears pouring down his cheeks, dripping onto his shirt, and trailing down and over his lips. There was never need for violence in a relationship, and never a need for either party to be punished. He just never thought Alex would end up like this, so…broken, so horrendously damaged. But she was going to be fine; he wouldn't let her not be.

'Alex?' he asked complacently, looking over to ask her something, and saw that she had dropped off into some kind of sleep. He grimaced and diverted the car to the nearest A&E, deciding that she required actual medical attention this time rather than just his method of wrapping some frozen peas in a tea-towel. He wanted to help her, and look after her, and care for her, and live with her, and love her as well, but he didn't know if he could yet. He had told her he loved her, because in the heat of the moment what the hell else was he supposed to say? He thought he did, he really, really did, but he wasn't ready yet.

He was trying to be so confident with her but he was taking on so much with this…he didn't want to say "case" because that made it sound ridiculous, but this situation. He wanted to do nothing but help her and look after her, but he didn't know if he could. I mean, look at him, he was a mess just looking at her like this; what was he going to do caring for her for the next few weeks until she was okay again?

Luckily for him, the A&E was pretty close to where he lived (he had made sure he was in close proximity when looking for a London apartment) and so when he pulled up, she had only been asleep for about ten minutes. Matt pulled up outside the entrance and the sky was beginning to turn pitch black as the evening beckoned, and he looked over at Alex's sleeping form in the seat of his Ford Focus.

She looked just the same as she did a few mornings ago when she was tucked up beside him in his bed. He could not describe how strange that was waking up with his arms around Alex Kingston. He could vaguely recall her getting into his bed because, of course, he hadn't really been asleep, but she still surprised him when he woke up. The light had been completely extinguished when he awoke, but was muffled through the curtains so he could see her lying across his chest.

She didn't half look beautiful first thing in the morning.

He stared at her for a few moments, just sitting there, staring intensely at her and the injuries she had acquired in the last few days. The bruise across her face was a complete disgrace though, it was horrible and disfiguring and yet she still managed to make it look…beautiful, like it fitted her face. He hoped he would never see her sporting anything like it ever again though. In the end, he stepped out of his car, pulled her into his arms and carried her to the hospital, knowing this was going to be a bit trying for the both of them.

**X – X – X**

'Mister Smith, could I ask you to please bring Miss Kingston through please?' the nurse asked, popping her head through the door of the waiting room, where only Matt, Alex and another random thirty something man was waiting with a splinter through his hand. Alex was draped across an armchair in the corner of the room, completely lifeless, her head lolling on the arm of the chair, with Matt next to her, holding her hand, pressing occasional kisses to the back of it every now and then. It was okay really, they had only been waiting for a few minutes.

Matt nodded his head before first trying to wake her up. He softly murmured for her to get up in her ear, and the nurse smiled patiently, seeing the relationship between the two, whilst the other person in the waiting room recognized the actors and looked a little shocked, but continued reading a newspaper from four days ago (that's how he recognized them – front page and all that jazz) when Matt finally managed to wake Alex up. She looked extremely groggy and she groaned when he pulled her out of the chair and half carried her to the room.

The person watching just looked bemused.

Matt helped Alex onto the bed, lifting her up so she didn't have the opportunity of damaging her ribs even further. She smiled weakly at him, and quietly spoke to him whilst the nurse went to go and get some pain medication from the other side of the room. 'I must've been crazy to go back to him,' she muttered depressively, and Matt kissed the back of her hand and whispered, 'No Alex, you're not crazy, you're just lonely.'

The nurse interrupted, taking Alex's pulse, checking her heart rate and examining the bruises up and down her arms and on her right cheek. The nurse, a woman in her late fifties who was very calm and gentle (which Matt was pleased about – he didn't want Alex being put in more pain), smiled and only applied some antiseptic cream to the bruises and cut across her cheek, before placing stitches on the cut running down her lip.

'Okay, Mister Smith, could you please leave for a moment whilst we take a look at Miss Kingston's possibly broken ribs?' the nurse asked, brushing Matt, who was currently sat next to Alex, sat on the bed, aside and motioning towards the door. He hesitated for a brief moment before nodding and moving to leave, not wishing to be impertinent although he didn't particularly want to leave her, but Alex reached out and tugged on his sleeve. She looked at the nurse. 'No, it's okay, he can stay.'

The nurse nodded, and told Matt to go and sit on one of the chairs whilst Alex was instructed to lie back on the bed, which was smooth yet very uncomfortable, and remove her top so the nurse could properly examine Alex's lower torso. Alex looked at Matt, fear and nervousness patched all across her face whilst she removed her top, and he looked away to preserve her modesty whilst she flushed bright red, even though she still had her bra on. The nurse glanced at Matt, and saw how awkward the two looked, and she tried to send him out again, but Alex didn't want to be without him; not again.

There was no bruise where the pain on her body was, but by the way there was lump almost sticking out of her chest, which once pressed upon, was seen to be bone. 'I'm afraid you have got a fractured rib there Miss Kingston. I can only offer you a chest support which will keep the bone in place until it heals back into the right place. Is that alright?'

Alex nodded in approval, and the nurse exited the room before Alex just softly called his name and Matt ran over to her and hugged her from where she was lying, holding her as tightly as possible whilst she just choked in sobs over his shoulder. It didn't even matter that she didn't have her t-shirt on, and it didn't matter how awkward it was in the hospital room, but he understood that she needed him. God, she needed him right now.

When the nurse came back in about two minutes later, Matt pulled away from the weeping body of his co-star and stood next to her, his right hand on her left shoulder, squeezing it comfortingly. The chest support turned out, in essence, to be like a cast, but softer. The bandages went around first, then covered by the sticky stuff which smelt like green tea, and then the rest of it, until, by the end of it, Alex's torso was kind of stiff.

Matt handed her back her top, and helped her to put it back on once the sticky stuff was dry underneath the harder bandages, and assisted her to standing on her feet. They both thanked the nurse, who wished Alex good luck in her recovery and saw them out.

Although she was on the road to healing now, she looked a hell of a lot worse now than she had before. She had two sets of stitches, one on her right cheek, the other on her lip, and although the bandages were not visible under her shirt, it was a lot more difficult for her to bend down to get into the car. The bruises down her arm were still on full view.

'I promise you Alex, I promise you now that I'm going to look after you. I promise this will never ever happen again,' he whispered tersely as he helped her out of the car, wrapping one arm around her waist, the other holding her hand in front of her stomach to support her. She didn't respond, but allowed him to help her up the twelve flights of stairs until they reached his apartment. He had wrapped his coat around her whilst walking, and he let her into the flat whilst he ran back down to his car to grab her bag.

She sat in his apartment and waited what seemed like a millennium. Everywhere she looked, she could see _him_ in the shadows, calling out to her, shrieking with laughter at her pain, and she was so taken in by these nightmares of her own imagination that when Matt placed a hand on her shoulder, she almost leapt out of her skin and started hyperventilating. She grabbed his hand immediately, and attempted to twist it around, trying to prise _him_ off, but Matt quickly yelled, and shouted, 'Alex, Alex, its Matt. It's me; I'm not trying to hurt you!'

Alex released him from her death grip and whimpered, 'I'm so sorry. Matt, I'm so sorry.' She just couldn't get him out of her head. He plagued her thoughts and nightmares, filled her with fear in every waking second of her existence, and even now that she was safe with Matt, she felt like _he_ was coming after her, like he was going to punish her yet again for defying _him_. 'Oh shit,' she breathed out, her voice high pitched and squeaky, 'oh shit, Matt, he's going to come after me and…' Her breathing became frantic and uneven, and her whole body began shaking unequivocally, her lips trembling against one another, her body going into self-destruct more.

He sat down next to her, and wrapped both arms around her body and kissed her on the forehead. 'Alex, you're okay. He's not coming near you ever again, I promise, he won't ever lay a finger on you ever again,' he muttered, his promises not exactly secure, but he was going to try with every fibre of his being to make sure she was okay.'

He tried to calm her down, but she continued hyperventilating loudly until he poured her a small glass of the strongest brandy he had and fed it to her so she had to stop breathing so loudly whilst she sipped. It took her a while, but in the end, she calmed down to the point where he could speak to her.

'What I said earlier Matt, about being crazy,' she spoke softly, unsure of the words she was saying and if they actually really meant anything, 'and you told me I was just lonely, it reminded me, what am I going to do about Salome?'

That was one of the things Matt loved most about her; how even though she was in agony and pain and wallowing in terror, her first priority and concern was not herself, but her daughter.

'You said Jack flew her over to L.A to stay with your mother?' Matt reiterated, and Alex nodded, confirming his statement and he continued, 'Well, leave it a few days until you're feeling better, and then give your mum and ring and make some suggestions about living arrangements? I mean I don't mind having the both of you here, and it could work with the schedule for Doctor Who and everything…'

'You're so sweet Matt, but I think I'll probably ask my mother to keep Salome until the divorce comes through and I'm…back on my feet and everything,' Alex said, trying to keep her voice strong but failing miserably. Matt tried to wrap an arm around her, but she shrugged him off subconsciously, pulling her knees up to her chin (well, as far as the bandages would allow her to), and tossing back the rest of the brandy down her throat.

He understood why she couldn't bear to be touched by him, why she had squirmed uncomfortably with the nurse examining her, and he wouldn't hold a grudge against her because of it. He watched as she shivered and quaked, her eyes just staring straight ahead, looking at nothing in particular. Deciding he shouldn't leave her alone, but shouldn't move her anyway, Matt grabbed the quilt from his spare bed and gently wrapped it around her whilst she continued to look anywhere but at him and mutter under her breath like a madman. He sat next to her, not holding her hand or kissing her or trying to hug her, but just watching her until he fell asleep and she was just left there, sitting uncomfortably on his sofa, terrified to the core of her existence.


	10. Time is Healing

_Sorry about the delay. School work is coming in boatloads and I've been horribly busy working on a new story (will be up soon hopefully). There will either be about 12 more chapters, or 2. Please leave a comment telling me if I should finish it soon or continue, because I don't know. Thanks for all the support guys._

It was a long, strenuous, completely soul-shattering and horrific three weeks before Alex was showing signs of going back to being her old self.

For the first week, she didn't move from the position she had first slumped down into on his sofa when she walked through the door. She refused to let him touch her, comfort her, or even speak to her. She didn't utter a single word; she just…sat there, lifeless, like someone had drained the very soul out of her. The only thing she requested was the rest of the bottle of brandy, which was all she fed her stomach. As the days went on, he became extraordinarily concerned of how much alcohol she was consuming, and how little food she had eaten. Her eyes became sunken, and she lost some of the natural radiance she usually emanated. She looked half dead, her curls nearly completely flat, and her lips just in a thin line on her pale face, her eyes having lost their sparkle. Every time he went near her, she just ignored him completely, and it hurt him to see her like this. He did everything he could for her, made sure she was comfortable and all that, but she was unresponsive, broken beyond belief by the betrayal and bruises from her husband. She didn't sleep either; she just sat and looked, and waited for the pain to go away.

And then, like the click of a switch, on week two she changed to the polar opposite of what she had been for seven days. It was at around half past eight in the morning, when she suddenly came bursting into his room, crawled into his double bed, awaking him with such a start that he thought he might just suffer a heart attack, curled up tightly into his chest and sobbed with such heart and passion that he thought she might just split into two pieces. He sat up, holding her calmly in his arms and shushing her loudly – telling her it was going to all be okay. She cried for six days, not all day but for at least an hour on each. She wouldn't let him out of her sight, and clung to him like a lost child hanging onto a security guard in a supermarket. She still didn't eat, but she wouldn't drink either, and he began to notice how much weight she had lost – she had been the perfect size twelve before, now she was at maximum a size eight. She slept in his bed with him every night, keeping him awake for half of it, and often woke him in the early hours of the morning with her intense and fearful screaming. He lost sleep, but she gained it, and he didn't really mind – at least she was showing some signs of life this week.

On the third week, she stopped crying altogether which was a relief if he said so himself. She showered, bringing back her luscious curls to their full potential, and allowed him to remove the bandages from around her rib-cage which needed to be removed about twenty day after they were first attached. Both bruises were clearing up really well, the left having completely disappeared with the right only requiring a few more days for it to be totally invisible. The bruises down her arms had initially gone like horrible green and yellow spots, but now they were but miniscule dots which were basically gone. The stitches on her lip were still there, but Matt cleanly took them out when they got too painful for her. She ate for the first time in two weeks; it was only something little – an apple and a yogurt – but at least it was something. She began to talk again, instead of crying or remaining silent and she began to stand on her own two feet again rather than following him around the whole apartment.

The countdown to Christmas was getting very close to the actual date, with only six days to go. During the last week, where Alex had been getting a hell of a lot better, he managed to convince her to go outside and face the world; they went to Convent Garden and picked a tree and he swung it over his shoulder and they walked back to his apartment, holding hands, her face almost covered by her scarf (however, the media did pick up on it a little, but they both just ignored it). They put it up together, and left it moult for a few days, and now was finally the time for them both to decorate it.

She could not even begin to explain how she was feeling living with him, and coping with what she had been through in the past three weeks. She had been so frightened for so long that she felt like she couldn't breathe, and she could constantly feel his breath on her cheeks, his hands clamping around her throat, choking her slowly. She felt so awful for having put Matt through everything along with her, and she had taken him for granted in that first week – ignoring him and just drinking.

During the second week, her brain had dissolved into a simple pile of mush and she couldn't even begin to remember much of what had happened; she knew only that she had cried a little too much than was normal. The amount of trauma she had been put through was finally beginning to hit her, and she couldn't bear to be alone for more than a second out of fear that she might just collapse. But by the third week, she felt better, and she ate something, although it just made her feel sick.

Going outside had been a nightmare experience. She hadn't been afraid of the media and what they might possibly say, but just going outside. It was like she had turned into some sort of agoraphobic in two weeks and it had been awkward going out in the middle of London, even with Matt right next to her, holding her hand and wrapping his arm around her shoulders and squeezing her when she looked like she was about to break down.

But for decorating the tree; it was so strange spending Christmas with Matt. Their…relationship, or whatever you wanted to call it, had been put on hold and they had done nothing more than lie together on his bed (not in that way) and hug each other.

Matt emerged from his room, sporting a large woollen jumper with a reindeer on the front which had a light-up red nose, and Alex laughed softly when she saw him. He was also wearing a Santa hat, tilted to the side, and great big polar bear slippers. He looked absolutely ridiculous – that man's sense of fashion could be seen as "cool" or just plain bad. She, however, was just wearing jeans and a blue jumper which did a good job of covering up her arms. He grinned at her and disappeared into the small cupboard where the coats usually were, bringing out a huge cardboard box labelled _X-Mas decorations_. It was almost spilling over with baubles and stars and tinsel.

'Come on Kingston, let's get this place looking a bit more Christmassy!' he called cheerfully, switching on his CD player and blasting out Slade and Elton john and every other brilliant festive song he owned. She had to admit, as strange as this whole situation was, she didn't half love being here.

_Are you hanging up a stocking on your wall? It's time that every Santa has a ball. Does he ride a red nosed reindeer? Does a 'ton up' on his sleigh? Do fairies keep him sober for a day?_

She just smiled as he danced around the apartment like an excitable child, and one of the meagre smiles she now rarely produced graced her lips, noticed almost instantly by Mister Smith himself. 'Aha, I saw that Kingston! Come on!' he yelled across the room and he leapt over to her, grabbed her joyously by the waist and started dancing along to the music blasting out. She groaned jokily and allowed him to lead her around the room in a strange version of a tango or rhumba or something else very dramatic they had watched on _Strictly_ yesterday evening.

After a while, Alex's favourite of White Christmas blared at top volume through his apartment and the rhumba stopped, turning into a gentle waltz on the spot whilst she rested her head on his chest, and he wrapped his arms around her skinny waist (she had yet to put the few pounds she had lost back on), holding her closely. It was the closest and most comfortable they had felt together for three weeks, and both had the sincere hope that they would share more moments like this in the future; at peace with each other and the world.

'I'm dreaaaaming of a Whiiiiiiiite Christmaaaaas…' Matt drawled out in time with the music, breaking the beautiful moment completely. She hit him gently on the chest with one of her palms and then muttered into his shirt, 'Matt! You're ruining the song!' They continued to slow dance on the spot before he hastily replied with, 'You love me really.' It was a bold move because he wasn't sure if he was joking, and he wasn't sure if she really did.

It was all she needed to feel better; him dancing and singing and making assumptions. He was all she needed.

She pulled away from him, still holding his hands and laughed loudly. 'Oh yes darling, I'm quite the cradle robber,' she replied, her flirtatious tone heavily invading her voice. He was a bit startled as to her reaction, thinking it would still be a few days, weeks possibly, before she went totally back to normal, but here she was, Alex Kingston, being her beautiful, seductive self again.

'That hurt!' he cried in mock pain, smacking his hand against his chest in an over the top demonstration of his fake emotion, 'I'm very offended!'

'Well, your singing is offending my ears!' she cleverly replied, pressing her index finger to his lips in an attempt to make him cease speaking or singing again. He opened his mouth like a bewildered…fish and looked at her in serious offense. 'I happen to think I'm quite good!' he exclaimed in exasperation, trying to stick up for himself in their jokey argument.

Alex laughed magnificently, throwing back her head of massive curls and letting that enchanting sound emanate from her lips. He watched in wonderment and amazement and couldn't even pretend to be at all affected by her following words of, 'Matt, sweetie, you're the only one who thinks that.' It took him a few moments to react following her bout of laughter, before changing his expression to one of complete scandalize-ation.

'Now, you're just being mean!' he complained loudly and childishly, and she just winked and then swaggered off, bending down to grab a few decorations from the box and pulled out a long trail of tinsel before she added, turning around to face him, chucking the tinsel at his face, 'I'm sure you'll get over it.'

Before she had chance to begin wrapping the tinsel actually around the Christmas tree which had been standing for the previous two days, she heard Matt yell, 'Oh that is the final straw!' She had not even time to turn around before he was sprinting towards her, grabbing her by the waist from behind, lifting her up in the air and dump tackling her onto his sofa. She hit the cushions quite softly but immediately started giggling when he started tickling her.

Oh God, he was _such a child_.

In the end, and apart from the obvious reason of the rugby tackle in his apartment, he ended up sprawled across her with his handing resting awkwardly on the skin above her waist. She laughed gorgeously in his face, unable to restrain herself from chuckling, a little tear of amusement slipping from her eye. 'So Miss Kingston, are you going to apologize for that comment?' he asked deliciously, and she grimaced sarcastically before pretending to think, placing a finger on her chin and pulling her face before saying, 'No Mister Smith, I think I was being very truthful.'

'Oh do you now?' he asked, raising an eyebrow and she pouted before nodding again. They both ceased talking at this point, and the awareness of their position began to sink in. She looked up at him, into his eyes for the first time since the Ritz a month ago, and those memories began to resurface right in front of her eyes. He had kissed her back then, and it seemed like he was going to do so again, leaning down slightly, but she looked away and stared at their reflection in the black television screen.

'I can't Matt, not yet. I'm not ready right now,' she breathed out shakily, and he crawled off of her and offered her his hand, smiling in a small way. He didn't look angry or disappointed, and she felt her affection for him build even higher in that moment, that moment where he realized that she did need more time, because what she had been through was enough to out anyone off for life, and he didn't pressurize her or make her feel guilty. He didn't say _this is my home, I looked after you, and this is how you treat me_, he said nothing. She returned his beams and allowed herself to be lifted off the sofa. There were so many words left unspoken, so many things left undone, but at least she was almost back to herself. 'Come along Kingston, let's decorate this tree shall we?'

**X – X – X**

It was fair to say that decorating a Christmas tree with just two people helping out was pretty tiring in the end. By the end of it, yes they had a fabulous looking tree in their living room (Matt had called it "their" apartment at some point during the decoration stages, making her feel so much at home because of it. She should've stayed in her apartment, but her flat was up for sale now, after some careful words and promises from Matt), but both were close to collapsing down on the couch and dying of dehydration.

'Well at least it looks quite good,' Alex stated, sprawling her limbs out across the leather of the sofa, 'I like what you put on the top of the tree.' He didn't know whether to interpret that as sarcasm or as if she actually meant it, but he glanced towards the Christmas tree they had spent all afternoon decorating and towards the top of it. A little TARDIS, with a big hole through the middle was stationed on top, and the windows were sparkly.

'One of my mother's friend's sons made it for me,' Matt replied, waving his arms around in explanation as he too planted himself on the seat next to her, being careful to let his callous arms wrap themselves around her shoulders. He missed the intimacy they had shared on that night, but he accepted that nothing was going to be easy like that for a long time. She had turned into a horribly twisted introvert, and she had suffered, but she was nearly back to normality once again.

There was an awkward silence, with enough gap for many turtles, and no one said anything until Alex quietly whispered, 'Matt, can we forget? Can we start over?' He looked at her and he saw how serious she was being. He could ask what exactly she was talking about, but he knew what it was. And he knew he had to say yes. He nodded. 'Of course we can. We don't ever have to look back. Me and you eh, Kingston?'

She nodded in response and let a smile cross her lips. He carefully placed his arm around her shoulders and let her drift off in his arms, glad to have his Alex back at last.


	11. Here It Is Merry Christmas: Part One

She had always wondered exactly how people wake up without an alarm going off. It didn't seem natural that you could be in an almost comatose sleeping state and then in the second be active and awake, however groggy. But today there was no alarm, and Alex slowly came to her senses, letting her eyelids crawl open, revealing her cobalt blue irises. She trailed her hands slowly across the crumpled sheets on the double mattress, reaching out for Matt like she did every morning. Last night had been no different than usual; clambering in, a kiss on her cheek from him and then just sleep. She still wouldn't let him kiss her properly on the lips though, even though they had started a new page like she had requested.

Alex was surprised and a bit disheartened to find his body not lying beside her. She turned her head around and squinted, and found that although his shape was still imprinted in the mattress, her flatmate was not here. She sat up, shading a yawn behind her palm and fell out of the bed, landing on her shoulder. She groaned loudly and clambered to her feet, brushing her eyes as she walked into the main bit of the apartment, and she was almost deafened by a party popper going off near her ear. She leapt what must have been around two feet in the air finally waked up properly.

Matt was standing in the kitchen, bare chested with a Santa hat perched on the tip of his head, and was currently frying up a huge breakfast, although she remembered how useless he had been at cooking all those weeks ago. The stereo was on once again, blasting out Christmas tunes, currently it being that of All I Want For Christmas. Matt turned around to face her, and yelled, 'Merry Christmas Kingston!'

He grinned widely and plated up the egg, bacon, sausage and pancakes he had managed to cook for her without burning them. 'How long have you been up?' Alex asked cheerily, returning his wishes of a good Christmas and strolling over to the table where everything was set out. He smiled goofily back at her, plonked his Santa hat on top of her outrageous curls and replied, 'Not long. I just wanted to get everything ready. You slept in!' he added, seemingly outraged by how someone could possibly sleep in on _Christmas_.

She began eating, shrugging her head noncommittally at his accusations. He just rolled his eyes at her and joined her in consuming the breakfast. It was lovely really; Matt must've been practising his cooking skills for a while now. There was just this comfortable air of peace and quiet, and Alex rested her head on her hand and looked out of the window, amazed to see a thick flurry of snow falling in bucket loads to the ground, covering the entire city, making it impossible to see two metres in front of you.

'It's snowing!' she cried merrily, beaming at Matt who rolled his eyes again and replied, 'Nicely noticed Alex. Pointing out the obvious there.' Alex laughed, but she had goose bumps running up her arms from just looking outside, due to the fact she only had her pyjama bottoms and a vest top on in the middle winter. 'We've got to go out in that later,' Matt suggested, and she nodded eagerly, stuffing a bit of bacon into her mouth and chomping on it like a solider. There was a small bout of silence, before they both just looked at each other and burst out laughing.

Matt leapt up from the table and ran into his room whilst Alex went to the cupboard by the front door. She rifled through coats and pairs of shoes and boots until she found the bag she had put his gift in a few days ago. They had been out shopping, the day after decorating the tree, and Alex had quickly gone to another shop whilst he made the excuse of going to the loo. Matt ran to the wardrobe and stood on a chair by his desk and swept his arm across the top drawer, searching for the bag that her present was in. He had bought this for her a few weeks ago, having been prepared to give her something anyway.

Matt walked out of the bedroom and found Alex standing by the sofa, with a small bag held in her hands, outstretched for him to take it. They carefully swapped gift bags and sat down on the sofa, both unwrapping the presents they had bought for each other. She had known from the beginning that this was going to expensive (the Tiffany's bag had been the slightest of give-aways) but when she actually saw what it was, she almost collapsed.

'Oh Matt, you really didn't have too,' she breathed out, staring down at the beautiful earrings in the box. They were gold around the outside, with a layer of sapphires which carefully matched the colour of her eyes, and then real pearls in the middle. They were so petite and delicate that she was scared she was going to drop them or break them if she touched even them. They were reflected in her eyeballs when she looked up at him, and she basically jumped into his lap and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him into one of the tightest hugs she could muster at eleven o'clock in the morning. She kissed him gently on the cheek and again thanked him, unable to believe that he had actually bought her something like this.

Matt smiled shyly at her, and untied the little box that she had handed him, intrigued as to what it might possibly be. The box was almost the same size as the one he had given her, and he glanced at her expression which was extremely happy and she urged him to hurry to open and untie the ribbon. It wasn't what he was expecting to be fair, but he absolutely loved them.

They were little silver cufflinks that she had bought specifically for him for the New Year's Eve party they were going to in a few days' time. And then he actually looked and saw exactly what they were – two little silver TARDIS' with so much tiny detail that it was almost impossible, or so he thought, to be able to make something like these. They were absolutely incredible.

'Whoa Alex, thank you so much. These are brilliant,' Matt exclaimed, returning her kiss to her cheek, but not daring to go any further. She blushed happily, and then said, 'I have to ring Salome later though. America is six hours behind, right? So if I ring her at around three for us, it will be nine in the morning over there?' Matt nodded, and made it more comfortable by ignoring the few tears that she shed. He knew she was missing her daughter, and not being able to spend this time of year with her was quite difficult for her.

'You want to go outside yet?' she asked, brushing away a few droplets from her face and wiping her hand on her top. She smiled wobbily at him, and he suddenly became a very large man-child once again, jumping off the sofa and yanking her with him. 'Come on Kingston, go get dressed!' he catcalled, pushing her into their bedroom where she had all her winter clothes. She smiled widely when he was gone and started to pull on tracksuit bottoms, a jumper, a t-shirt and some gloves. Within a few minutes, Matt was smacking his fist on the door yelling, 'Hurry up Alex or all the kids will nick the snow!'

'You're such a child!' she shouted back, and she heard him call something unintelligible back and she just ignored him, now choosing to take her time getting ready just to get back at him for trying to hurry her. She casually strolled out of the room, only her face visible, the rest covered up by thick layers of clothing, and they walked arm in arm over to the front door. Matt opened the door for her and went to motion for her to walk through when he caught sight of the people waiting outside the door.

'Hi mum, hi dad,' he murmured in surprise, staring in shock at his parents, stood happily on the doorstep.

X – X – X

'Err, hey guys. What exactly are you doing here?' Matt asked calmly, although it was frankly rather obvious that his head was fraught with confusion and too many questions to possibly be answered. Alex stood behind him and slipped out of her beautiful royal blue winter coat, having evidently realized that playing in the snow may have to be delayed until later on. She could not catch Matt's eyes, but she caught that of his mother who smiled gracefully and waved a little at her.

'Come on Matty, are you going to let us in?' his mother, Lynne, asked, already shuffling into the apartment alongside Matt's father David, bringing half the snow outside in with them. They both kicked off their boots and very politely placed them in the cupboard by the door and hanged their jackets up neatly on the coat hooks. His parents must have only been around the fifty five-sixty mark, and with a grimace, Alex realized that they were more her generation than the one she wanted to be in with Matt.

She frowned sadly at him, and he, noticing this, placed a reassuring am around her and hugged her gently whilst his parents were preparing themselves. 'I feel so old,' she groaned quietly, and he laughed and replied, 'Well you certainly don't look it.' He pulled her chin up, 'Hey you. You're beautiful, alright?' She was not given good opportunity to respond to that and so Matt turned to his parents and said 'Merry Christmas by the way!' and leaned forwards and pulled them both into a large hug.

Alex watched with mild amusement at the strange dynamic of the Smith family-clan. They were a strong unit, she could tell, and it was so nice that they were still so close even with Matt having been so busy over the last month with Alex, and the last two years with Doctor Who. 'And now you have to tell me why you're here whilst I make coffee,' he said clearly, ushering his parents into the kitchen. Alex followed awkwardly, not wanting to intrude on the family.

'Well we said we'd come round,' Matt's father said gruffly, but in a manner which was not harsh. Matt looked bewildered for a fleeting second before looking over at Alex and then back at his elders before slyly saying, 'But you always say that and you never do. So, was there something or some_one_ else bringing you here?' By now, everyone had coffee or tea or eggnog (Matt had a certain partiality for it) and were resting comfortably on the counter of Matt's petite kitchen.

Alex expected Lynne to come out with the whole _Oh, I'm your mother, I don't need an excuse to spend Christmas with my son_ kind of thing, but instead, Matt's mother looked directly at her and said, 'Okay, we came because one, you're our son and we love you and we do want to spend time with you, and two, we wanted to meet the new girlfriend.'

The tone was so matter-of-fact that whatever misconceptions Alex had had of her relationship with Matt, she accepted she was now officially designated as "girlfriend". Matt slapped his hand against his forehead, thinking that the term wouldn't be wise after everything which had happened in the past few weeks, but Alex laughed heartily, and soon engaged in a delightful conversation with Lynne. 'Oh, I have to say I'm a big fan,' she gushed, 'I remember watching you in Moll Flanders when Matt was only fifteen!'

Alex didn't know what it was, but it felt like there was a small bit of disapproval of their situation there, but she ignored it and whispered back, 'Oh please don't mention Moll. Not in front of him…' Alex pointed at Matt, in conversation with his dad, and his mum laughed. 'Don't worry; I didn't let Matty watch it.' Alex giggled internally at how obvious her fondness for her son was, and the chat carried on for quite a while longer until David declared that he should start to help Matt with the cooking.

'You're staying for dinner?' Matt enquired although he seemed like he was asking in vain with the voice of someone who had already given in and had reached a point of acceptance. His parents nodded vigorously, and shooed both him and Alex out of the kitchen whilst they prepared Christmas dinner, consisting of: turkey (obviously), roast potatoes, Yorkshire puddings and various vegetables.

Whilst his parents busied themselves in the kitchen, Matt and Alex plonked themselves down on the sofa and watched the snow fall outside. It was such a beautiful thing to watch, a glory of nature. Gradually, her head began to slip onto his shoulder, and the tips of her hair tickled his face. He allowed her to curl up beside him in her big green knitted jumper and jeans, and he switched the telly on to some miscellaneous Christmas movie until his parents called that dinner was ready.

Dinner was an immensely enjoyable affair. Matt and Lynne sat on one side of the table, with Alex and his father on the other. It was nice to be surrounded by chatter and liveliness and other people whom she had not dared to speak to since the incident, but it made her realize how much she missed her own family; even Jack, hopefully rotting in jail.

But crackers were pulled, hats were put on heads, turkey was carved and jokes were read. Food was consumed in boatloads to the point where no one could even move their forks anymore, and Matt was glad Alex was definitely back to her usual self; smiles and all. Pudding was served soon after and it looked so good that everyone made room for it and were glad seeing as it tasted just as great.

After having been sat at the table for almost three hours, just chatting and reminiscing and _getting-to-know-the-family_ type of bonanza, Alex saw the time and with a start she asked, 'Does anyone mind if I excuse myself – I need to go and ring my daughter and catch up with her.' Matt's parents nodded, waving their hands to show it did not bother them in any way. Matt smiled and said, 'Send her my love.' Alex nodded and went to the bedroom and sat down by the telephone, and steadily dialled out the number of her mother's house in America, praying to God that neither she nor her daughter would get too upset seeing as this was the first time they had spoken in three weeks…

Outside, it was a completely different board game. As soon as they were sure Alex was indisposed, Matt's mother quickly piped up with, 'So tell us, what exactly happened? Why is she staying with you and how did it happen so quickly?' Matt had known from the moment he had seen her that he would end up explaining this story, and that the simple version would not suffice.

He told his parents, in a hushed whisper so she wouldn't overhear, of how Alex had come to him in the night, beaten, and of their dinner date. He told his parents of their kiss and then of her decision to go back and only end up rescuing her again. He described how painful it had been for the two of them over the past few weeks which was where his mother butted in. 'Why are you concerning yourself so much with her? Do you really know what you're doing?' she asked seriously, holding her sons hand in her own. Matt took a while to consider that.

He had never been selfish enough to think about how Alex's problems had been causing his own life to come to a halt and crash like a train wreck. But it wasn't her fault that he cared too much. 'Of course I know what I'm doing. And I'm doing it because she's one of my best friends, and she needs someone and that it me,' Matt replied passionately.

David, who was usually quiet and collected, in a reasonable voice stated, 'Matthew, she's nearly twenty years older than you. Does that not concern you in any way? And you say she is still married – are you even sure this little thing you have is going anywhere?' As nicely as his parents were trying to put it, Matt was beginning to get a little peeved at how intrusive the questions were. But Lynne and David were his parents after all, and what are parents for but to nag?

He stood up, standing hotly over his parents, enraged at how they believed Alex's age to be an issue at any point. 'It doesn't matter to me. Alex was hurt by her husband, but now he can't ever touch her again. As for our relationship, I don't know if it will work out but time will tell.' He was trying so hard to stay calm. But his mother just kept retaliating.

She brushed a grey strand of hair behind her ears and replied soothingly, 'But she went back to her husband after he hit her, what's to say that you spend every second of the next five years with her but the moment he gets released, she won't drop you like a red hot brick and go back to him?'

'Because I love her!' he roared, 'Is that what you want to hear because I can say it again. I love Alexandra Kingston and I won't let her get hurt again! She means everything to me.'

'Matt, sit down,' David said tranquilly, and Matt did so, never questioning his father's authority. There was an awkward silence where all that could be heard was Alex's voice burbling down the phone, and Matt's grip on the tablecloth slackened, leaving his knuckles white and his face bright red.

'Okay,' his mother stated simply, 'Okay. If you love her, and you're one hundred percent sure about it then I don't have a problem with the two of you being together.' It wasn't exactly what he was looking for, but it was close. Matt stood up and pulled his mother into an embrace and then his father and apologized for getting so worked up. But he was glad they had had this argument – at least now he knew exactly how he felt about Alex. He just hoped she hadn't heard him yelling…


	12. Here It Is Merry Christmas: Part Two

_I just wanted to thank everything who has reviewed this story. At the beginning, I had doubts people were enjoying it, but you guys have really just made this story worth the while but how lovely you've all been. The feedback I've had on Tumblr had been simply incredible and you guys are just the best. Thank you. But also, I will now be continuing this story and there will be ten more chapters after this (I think – I don't have my plans on me at the moment). Love you all, thank you so very much! X x _

As a matter of fact, just for the purpose of reference, Alex had heard but the words had been so unintelligible and hoarse from where she sat that she had literally no clue that the family were arguing over her. To be honest, she wasn't really listening to their conversation in the slightest. She had just been speaking with her mother about the arrangement with Salome, but also wishing the two of them a very merry Christmas, but Alex was just desperate to speak with her daughter. Her throat tightened when her mother wished her good luck in the next few weeks, and handed the phone down her end to Salome.

'Mum?' Salome asked inquisitively, her voice quiet and disbelieving, like she had thought it could not possible to be speaking to her mum again. Alex immediately smiled at her voice and let out a sigh which she did not realize she had been holding in. she smiled widely and replied, 'Hey sweetie.'

Ever since becoming River Song, Alex had adopted that phrase when speaking to her daughter; it was just something silly that had become a bit of a tradition. 'How are you? Are you being good for grandma?' Alex asked, and Salome chirpily called back down the phone, 'I'm good and yes I have. Merry Christmas by the way! Are you coming to see us soon? I miss you.'

It all came out in a jumbled up order, a few sentences wrapped in anxiety and misery and everything in both their lives was so messed up. How had she abandoned her daughter like this? She hadn't even spoken to her in three weeks. 'Sorry sweetie, I've been a bit busy lately.'

'Too busy to ring at all? Mum, it's been three weeks!' Salome complained loudly, although her moaning voice did not do the greatest job of masking how upset this had caused her to be. 'Salome, I haven't been very well…'

'Mum, are you with Matt? It said in the newspaper that you were with him. Where's daddy?' Salome continued burbling and Alex's heart constricted inside her chest and caused her internal organs to scramble and tangle together, causing some severe pains both literally and metaphorically.

'Daddy's had to go away for a while Salome. It's just me and you for a while,' Alex murmured out, sniffing back to prevent tears from falling down her face. She didn't want to lie about Jack, but she wanted to have this conversation with her daughter face to face. It didn't seem right to discuss a matter of this importance over the telephone.

'But it's not though!' Salome suddenly cried, and Alex had to hold the phone away from her ear for a moment, and she was confused before her daughter continued, 'Mum, when are you going to come and get me? I want to come back to England. I miss you – we never get to spend time together and you haven't bothered to call for three weeks! Grandma said you were ill but she couldn't hide it from me! Did you just dump me here so you could go off with Matt?' she accused her loudly, and it broke Alex's heart to hear her crying as well.

Listening to her daughter, just eleven years old, shout like that was agonizing to listen to. The betrayal that was so obviously felt was horrific and although Alex so dearly wanted to contradict it, she had been so selfish not to even contact her daughter in any way during those three weeks. All she had thought about was herself, all she had done was for herself, trying to make herself feel better, when really she should've acted as a proper mother.

'Sweetie, I didn't dump you. Me and daddy were just having some adult problems and we needed some space for a while.' This obviously turned out to be the wrong thing to say to her.

'Was I getting in the way mum? Is that what you're trying to say?' Salome screamed, her maturity at eleven being far too advanced for the normal child. But with a famous actress for a mother, she had had no choice but to grow up quickly. Sure, there had been times when she hadn't seen her mother for months, but she always spoke to her – every single day.

Salome had always been a mummy's girl, but her relationship with her dad had been great as well. She had seen her dad hit her mum, but she didn't understand it. She might have maturity, but it didn't mean she actually understood everything that happened in the Kingston household. All she knew was that she wanted her mum,

'Salome, listen to me,' Alex choked out, trying to hold her nerve together, 'You never got in the way. But I didn't want you to be in an environment where you could possibly be in danger. I miss you too sweetie, but I need to sort out everything before I come and get you because otherwise it might be bad for you.'

This seemed to calm her down a little, but the rage was replaced by a fit of tears and Alex felt totally helpless hearing her little girl cry down the phone to her. She now knew what it had been like for Matt all those weeks ago when she rang him on the evening her daughter had been dragged away from her. And it was a horrible thing to listen to – someone you love having been hurt and knowing you cannot do anything about it.

'I saw what daddy did,' Salome sobbed, 'Why did he hit you mum? Why did you let him do it again afterwards?' Alex sniffed again and coughed before replying with, 'Salome, you need to understand that sometimes adults have arguments and tempers run a little high and bad things can happen which aren't supposed to.'

This seemed to satisfy her for a while, but as Salome caught her tears and stopped herself from crying anymore, she seemed a little less chatty when she said, 'I've got to go mum. We've got dinner.' The words were harsh and cold and it broke Alex's heart more than anything else in the entire world. 'See you soon Salome, I promise I'll come and get you. I love you; I'll be there before you know it.'

'I love you too mummy,' Salome whispered, like she used to as a child when Alex got one of those rare times to drop her off at school. 'I love you too sweetie. Happy Christmas.' They both hung up at the exact same time, and Alex just sat on the edge of the bed, trying desperately hard not to break down into vicious sobs whilst in the vicinity of Matt's parents.

**X – X – X**

Matt's parents chose to leave before Alex returned from the bedroom, but they told Matt to ensure her that it had been a pleasure to meet her. Still a little angry at the argument they had had earlier, Matt immediately went to see Alex seeing as it had been over an hour and a half since she graced everyone with her presence, and it had been half an hour since her talking had become silent. When he entered the room, the first thing that surprised him was that the light was off, the curtains were drawn and it was like a kind of sepia colour inside, but not pitch black as of yet.

Alex was lying underneath the covers, her head lolling on one of the pillows, fast asleep. Her cheeks were tear stained and black where her mascara had run, and he realized that not all was happy with the Kingston's as well and the Smith's. He left her for a while, not wishing to wake her up, but he sat next to her and hummed Christmas songs to himself until she gradually awoke, still fully clothed.

The moment she had a grip on what was going on, she smacked her hand against her head and groaned out, 'Oh God Matt, I'm so sorry.' He reassured her that it was okay, but she felt the need to explain everything that had happened. He listened intently, and was also deeply moved by the way in which Salome had taken her mother's absence. By the end of the tale, Matt did not have the heart to inform her about his own argument with his family, but he just said, 'Well, I'm never going to forget this Christmas.' He put his arms around her shoulders.

'Our first,' she muttered contentedly. 'Hopefully not the last,' he added. She gave him a watery smile and he kissed her gently on the cheek.

'Shall we go outside in the snow?' Matt asked. Alex just nodded.

Three hours later, they trampled back inside the apartment, having just created a slipping caution all the way up twelve floors, and quickly removed the first two layers which were soaked entirely through. Both of their cheeks were bright red from the chill, as was Alex's nose and they were both still laughing after the two hour long snowball fight they had had after building a snowman; it was like they had both been reverted to children again and were reliving the good days from many a year ago.

'You have good aim Kingston,' he muttered darkly, slumping onto the sofa and crossing his arms across his chest in a mock temper. He had begun to accept he was losing after Alex had absolutely pelted him in the face about six times in a row. Alex bounced down next to him and hit him playfully on the arm. 'Oh, just because you're a sore loser,' she trilled loudly, her curls springing around as she jumped next to him.

He looked up at her and pouted and she giggled beautifully. They both turned silent, but looked at one another deeply. It seemed like the perfect moment to kiss.

But they didn't. Not yet anyway.

Alex looked over the back of the sofa and gasped in surprise. 'So, your parents didn't help with the washing up before they left then?' she asked, almost breathlessly, but also due to the fact she was still recovering after the snow battle outside. Matt looked around as well, staring at the incredible amount of plates, cutlery, cooking trays and other various accessories that had been used in the creation of this year's Christmas dinner.

'No, it appears not,' Matt replied, plunging headfirst into shock just the same as his "girlfriend".

Alex leapt to her feet and offered him her hand, like he had done for her so many times before and waggled her eyebrows suggestively. He begrudgingly, but only playfully, took her hand and allowed her to pull him from his seat. 'Come on Matty,' she teased gently, and pulled him over to the sink.

'Don't say a word,' he mouthed angrily, pointing a finger at her whilst she instructed him to do the washing up whilst she would dry the plates and such like. She giggled and he tapped her on the nose, wiping a little bit of the washing up foam on her face.

'You love me really,' she said.

'Yeah, of course I do,' he whispered inaudibly, 'Merry Christmas Kingston.'


End file.
